By Chris Fahrendorf
Arizona Daily Wildcat
March 31, 1998

Motherhood: The toughest job you'll ever love

She never leaves work, yet doesn't get paid a dime for the hours she puts in. She dedicates her entire life to her vocation, but gets little respect, and sometimes receives even scorn for this dedication. She has more influence than anyone else in the world.

She's the good full-time mother.

It's been suggested in this column that boys and girls must be taught a young age the difference between right and wrong. How is this teaching to take place? The most important teacher in any child's life is his or her mother. More specifically, the moral guidance and love that shape the character of an innocent youth can best be provided by a mother who is not burdened by the many extra demands made on her by working outside the home.

Why the mother and not the father? There is a simple answer to this question. Women naturally tend to be more caring, more affectionate and more patient with children than men. Of course, there are exceptions, but in this case they are few and far between. Anyone who does not recognize the many inherent differences between the sexes is closing their eyes to reality.

Once we have established the superiority of the mother to the father in matters of raising kids, we must go on to consider the reasons why more women do not choose this most honorable of professions. Probably the most popular reason given for the mother working outside the home is that two incomes are now necessary to raise a family. This past week in her syndicated column, Abigail Van Buren responded to a letter by saying, "In

1989, I printed a letter stating the dollar-and-cents value of a homemaker. At the time, it was $52,000 a year, and the Employment Cost Index has continually risen."

As you can see, in many cases this argument is not completely valid. A good standard of living could oftentimes be maintained on only one salary. Much of the second income must be spent on daycare for the children, eating meals out and other similar expenses. In the home run by a full-time mom, expenses such as these are nonexistent. It appears that even in economic terms the necessity of two incomes cannot often be justified.

Daycare has other costs besides those of a financial nature. No matter how hard-working or well-intentioned the child-care employee, he or she does not possess the same bond that exists between a mother and her child. A toddler in daycare will not receive the individual attention, the touching and the love that are so vital to his development. He is more open to sickness in this non-home environment. And he can be greatly influenced by the bad examples of other children during these, the most impressionable early years of his life.

The full-time mother continues molding her children into good, honorable adults during their school years. Recently I saw a young girl, not more than ten years old, return home from school and unlock the door to her apartment. She was alone in the house. Where were her parents? Instead of talking with her mom about her day at school, this poor child had only the television for a friend.

Her case is not only sad, it is dangerous. It is dangerous to her physical safety. More importantly, it is dangerous to her moral and social growth. This girl will be more likely to succumb to the temptations of alcohol, drugs and sex when she gets older because of this lack of love and supervision. Americans should be ashamed to think that there are thousands and thousands of other little boys and girls in her same situation. They are the future of our nation. What an alarming future!

Being a good mother is more than a full-time job. You don't clock out at five. You don't get paid for overtime. You don't get the respect you deserve for working for the world's most demanding employees - your children.

A good mother is both a nurse and a financial planner. She is a psychologist and a teacher. She is all of these things and many, many more. She is a friend who gives of her love and herself without reservation. Being a full-time mother is much more than a job. It is a lifelong commitment.

Chris Fahrendorf is a junior majoring in accounting. His column, "The Bottom Line," normally appears every other Tuesday.