By Eric Anderson
Arizona Daily Wildcat
May 6, 1998

Summer strategies for the stranded student

If you're like me (and I pray for your soul that you aren't), you're one of the very unfortunate ones, to say the least, who will be stuck in the Arizona desert for the summer. To make matters worse, not only am I stuck in this wasteland, but I have to leave the friendly confines of our beloved Tucson for the overly-congested, nothing to do, 10-degrees-hotter weather of the metropolis known as Phoenix.

So, if you too are fated to be trapped, whether it be in Phoenix, Tucson, or anywhere in between, I offer up to you these Top 10 suggestions to make it through the summer. While some are more conventional than others, they all help in the ongoing struggle to beat the heat. Good Luck!

10. Add some culture to your life.

There are numerous museums around town that all offer quite a unique taste of local and national art, and the best part about it is they're mostly indoors. Not to mention the educational museums, like the Tucson Desert Museum, the Sonoran Desert Museum, as well as Phoenix's many downtown museums; I recommend the science museum - not only is it nicely air-conditioned, but you wouldn't believe all the cool toys you'll find in there, sure to keep your mind off the heat for a few hours.

9. Relax.

After all, if you're in Tucson, you pretty much have the town to yourself. Enjoy it. Sit on your couch. Watch some quality TV. Listen to some good music without the hustle and bustle of 40,000 kids outside. Cherish the fact you don't get stuck at Euclid and Speedway for 20 minutes every day at rush hour.

8. Go to the movies.

There are few better ways to beat the heat than the inside of a nice, heavily air-conditioned movie theater. With all of the summer movies that come out every year, and this year being no exception, the theater should keep you entertained for say, a month or two. A helpful tip: if you plan on frequenting your local cinema, you might want to take out a small loan to pay for all of those $5 Dixie cups of soda.

7. Nogales.

Ah yes, the beautiful town of Nogales, Mexico. Truly an oasis in the desert. Okay, maybe not quite an oasis, but when you consider it's only a 45 minute drive, the fact is, it doesn't matter where you're at - once you throw back a few cold Pacificos at your favorite local cantina, you won't know the difference between Nogales and Club Med.

6. Sweat.

I guess this is more of an involuntary defense against the sun's powerful rays, but nevertheless, a necessary key to surviving a desert summer. My eighth grade drama teacher had this problem where she couldn't sweat and she used to look like she was seconds away from collapsing, all day long. Believe me, sweat is indeed a key method of survival - don't take it for granted.

5. Sabino Canyon.

The natural beauty of Sabino Canyon offers a slight escape from the rigors of summer, without ever leaving town. Yeah, you are out in the baking sun, but don't fret! Just find yourself one of those nice lil' watering holes, stay away from those darn nude sunbathers, and as you submerse yourself in the nice, cool, refreshing water, you won't notice if it's 100 degrees, or 190 degrees. Just don't forget the sunblock.

4. Mt. Lemmon.

OK, if Sabino Canyon's desert oasis isn't your cup of joe, you can always head for the hills - or mountains to be exact. Mt. Lemmon isn't just for skiing; it also offers a much more enjoyable and bearable climate than down here. As you head up the mountain, the temperature begins to drop and the scenery becomes more lush. Essentially, it's a good 20 degree drop, in less than a hour's drive, and a very relaxing one at that.

3. Hibernate.

Yeah, so this one is kind of cheesy, but hey, bears aren't the only ones who can stick themselves inside and never come out until the weather is more pleasing. However, a good air conditioner or strong swamp cooler are necessary for any success with this one. Otherwise, it's just as bad indoors as it is out.

2. Get the *@#! outta Dodge.

Let's be honest, what better way to escape the heat then to just get out of it. Go anywhere: north, south, east, west - whichever direction you pick, you're bound to find a more pleasing climate there than the one you're stuck with in the desert. (If this is your choice, please, take me with you!)

And the No. 1 way to beat the heat is :

1. Grin and bear it.

After all, summer is only three months out of the year. (Actually, in Arizona, it seems to be about six months long.) But hey, how bad can it really be? Ask anyone, like me, who experienced the 122 degrees of sweltering heat about five years ago in Phoenix, how bad a 100 degree day is, and they'll undoubtedly tell you, "This is nothing!" Just keep reminding yourself: it has to end sometime ... doesn't it?

So, maybe No. 1 isn't the best choice for the top spot, but at least it isn't the worst possible choice.

Who do you think I am, anyway - David Letterman?