By Jon Hirata
Arizona Daily Wildcat
September 26, 1997

'Reflections' in poor taste

Editor:

This is in response to the letter, "Reflections on the Death of Another Man."

Mr Wernette:

I found your letter, "Reflections of the Death of Another Man" to be in very poor taste. How dare you use the death of my friend Matt Whaley as an example for your personal gender views? Your letter suggests that Matt was a masculinist, conditioned to "be tough," "violent", and virile - never revealing his emotions or vulnerability.

The reality, however, is that nothing could be any further from the truth. In fact, Matt was one of the most gentle hearted and unique persons I have ever met. He has never hesitated or been afraid to communicate his feelings to any of his peers. And we've laughed, cried, and supported one another through the years without worrying whether or not there was a sort of social stigma attached to sharing one's affections or sentiments with others.

To say that Mr. Whaley was susceptible to society's pressures to fulfill the traditional male role is preposterous. Anyone that knew him would agree that Matt was an individual who defied and challenged mediocrity and was never concerned with the state of his masculinity or trying to be a "real man"; nor has he ever displayed or maintained an internal well of violence and aggression, as you have alluded.

It is equally insulting to put his fraternity and male friends at fault. At Kappa Sigma, we believe that our greatest asset is our tenacious atmosphere of diversity and support. Members are encouraged to be their own man and not concern themselves with having to conform or fit into certain roles or character molds. We realize that our strength lies in our individual differences. It is how we grow, accept, and learn from one another. This, in turn, fosters an environment of comfort and aid. It is rare (if not unlikely) to see a distressed or troubled member carry on around the house without his brothers stopping to ask what's wrong and offer the opportunity to listen and offer a solution. In addition, it is

also highly doubtful that a brother in some sort of trouble would find it difficult to ask the others for support. While it is possible that Matt's actions were the result of a loss of control or a long-accumulated manifestation of aggression (as you have guessed), it is also conceivable that they could have been done with haste, uncertainly, or spontaneity as well.

My goal here is not to dismiss this terrible and unfortunate incident with excuses, but rather to truly honor his life with us by remembering Matt as the warm, vibrant, and exceptional person that he really was; not by labelling him as a testosterone-laden typical macho guy and exploiting his death to promote your politics.

While I appreciate your list of suicide alternatives (hopefully other students will take the time to utilize them) and am very supportive of your views on diversity, feminism, and equality, I don't believe that this is the right way to go about promoting your knowledge and intent towards such issues.

Jon Hirata
Member, Kappa Sigma Fraternity
Management Information Systems Senior

P.S. Please feel free to visit our fraternity house at 1423 East 1st Street and find out for yourself what the culture, interaction, and diversity is really like here. Thank you.