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Just don't call him tennis boy

Matt Heistand Arizona Summer Wildcat Undecided sophomore Mike Beaman takes time out from his duties at the Robson Tennis Center desk to pose for a photograph. Beaman said that he enjoys the job despite the boredom.

The dude who sits at the Robson Tennis Center every night is tough to figure out - and it starts with his name.

Friends frequently visit the guy at the tennis center during his four-hour shift, and they all seem to call him by a different name.

The most popular is "Mike," which would make sense, because it's the name his momma gave him. But it doesn't stop there.

"Hey Bird!" a guy in a blue Arizona baseball cap says as he walks by.

"What's up, Magill?" says another.

Name: Several aliases, but official records show his name is "Michael Beaman" Age: 19 Major: Undecided sophomore Occupation: Guy who sits in the box at the Robson Tennis Center and allows access to courts. Job Description: Sits in the box, takes court reservations, ponders the mysteries of the universe. Job Qualifications: He knows the game. Made the state tournament as a senior on the Catalina High School tennis team two years ago. Job Advantages: Not the most strenuous line of work. At times, when the UA community isn't stricken with tennis fever, which happens frequently, it's slow going. So Beaman often gets the chance to check his e-mail, strike up a role-playing game on his computer or sometimes - when he's really bored - read. Job Disadvantages: The job can be considered boring to the unimaginative.

"Hi Flapper!" says yet another acquaintance.

"I'm the man with a thousand names," said Mike Beaman. "Bird, Magill, Flapper, Magivern and whatever else. My friends are boners."

Beaman has worked at the tennis center for more than six months now. During the summer, he worked as many as 48 hours a week at the tennis center and Bear Down Gym.

So now he's a grizzled veteran. And the multiplicity of his names are rivaled only by the amount of his hobbies that he employs to stave off boredom in the front desk box.

The weapons against dullness: a nerf basketball hoop, a laptop computer and all the tennis balls one could ever ask for.

Beaman keeps himself busy when things are slow, but never falls asleep on the job. If a couple of goofballs who forgot to reserve a court try and step on court five at 6:24, Beaman will say "Hey, you've only got six minutes. Someone else has that court reserved at 6:30," or something like that.

The president of fledgling fraternity Phi Kappa Theta, Beaman uses the job to support himself at his newly acquired residence a few blocks north of campus.

Beaman likes his job. He pretty much has to since he spends nearly 30 hours each week at the Robson Tennis Center or Bear Down Gym. But that doesn't mean he can't make fun of it.

As a Smashing Pumpkins' song plays on the radio, the one with the chorus "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage," Beaman grins and sings his own version.

"Despite all my rage," Beaman sings, I am still just a Bird in a cage."