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Things hit the fan

It appears the fat lady has sung.

Super Tuesday confirmed what most predicted from the beginning - Vice President Al Gore and Texas Governor George W. Bush, each his party's number one frat boy, are the leading candidates in the race for the presidency.

With the primaries out of the way, the two front-runners are free to be each other's worst enemy.

Almost instantly, Bush and Gore forgot about their primary rivals and focused their attention on each other. As if he had never heard of Arizona Senator John McCain, Bush quickly switched enemies and aimed his attacks directly at Gore.

"America must not give Clinton-Gore four more years," Bush announced during his victory speech Tuesday night.

Translation: Al Gore, I'm going to kick your ass.

Hold on tight, America's in for a nasty campaign.

Gore, whose primary was much less difficult than Bush's, has been attacking both Republican candidates for several months. He's had a head start in the mudslinging contests.

"In this election, we are the party of the mainstream," Gore said Tuesday night. "We are the party of hope. We appeal to hope, not anger, not to exclusion. We look to the future, not the past."

In past weeks, Gore has been strategically sneaking appeals to pro-choice Republicans in his attacks on Bush and McCain. He recently criticized both Bush and McCain's stances on abortion in one breath.

"(Bush's) challenger, John McCain, has an identical record, and the anti-choice forces would do anything to divide Democrats on this issue," Gore said.

In order to win in November's general election, Gore knows he will have to sway pro-choice Republican women.

But swaying Republicans will be difficult for the Democrat. No matter how much he tries to create an independent image for himself, he is still tightly linked to the Clinton administration that Republicans still love to hate. Think about it: the greatest insult McCain could think of to hurl at Bush was comparing him to President Clinton.

What is striking about this race is that although Gore and Bush were considered front-runners at the start, neither had a particularly easy time in the primaries. It is unusual for primaries to be as contested as the one that ended Tuesday night.

Though Super Tuesday virtually ended the hotly observed primary game, the general election is bound to provide more excitement.

Several months lie between now and the general election in November. Given the strength of both candidates, predictions are difficult to make. If California's open primary result is any indication of who the next leader of the free world will be, the Democrats may be dominating the White House yet again.

Gore beat Bush in California, 34 percent to 29 percent. He is arguably the more qualified candidate, having served eight years in the White House and being the most active Vice President in history.

He invented the Internet, too.

Bush has great experience holding the executive office in the great state of Texas, where they execute criminals daily.

And he speaks Spanish.

But how would a Bush administration differ greatly from a Gore administration? That the race has boiled down to the two top establishment candidates means voting for either one or the other promises strict party lines in the White House.

A Bush administration would mean pro-life conservatives on the Supreme Court, vouchers to stab at the already suffering public school system, and greater leniency in allowing prayer in schools.

After all, a president whose favorite political philosopher is Jesus Christ cannot go against the religious right's desires.

A Gore administration would give us - ta da! - four more years of Clinton. A little more environmental legislation, perhaps, and a much less controversial First Little Woman.

America has several months to decide between Bush and Gore. One's a Jesus Freak, the other is Clinton's protege.

Take your pick.