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'Here on earth' a disappointment

"Here on Earth" is an unoriginal, wildly incoherent teen romance drama that attempts to delve into serious drama and serious emotion - but fails to rise above high school lovelorn angst.

This arises from the romance between supposed star-crossed lovers Kelley (Chris Klein), an arrogant "rich-boy," and grounded country girl Samantha (Leelee Sobieski).

Both actors are far too talented for the substandard, trite dialogue and limp, meandering narrative of this film.

It is set up in three distinct and completely unrelated acts, each one a threat to the romance.

Act one sees poor Samantha trying to choose between Kelley and current boyfriend Jasper (Josh Hartnett) who keep bantering over superficially portrayed social class conflict.

Eventually, with very little drama and many awkward scenes, Samantha picks Kelley. The audience is left wondering about her choice since Kelley is never portrayed sympathetically.

Apparently his banal affinity for a Robert Frost poem is enough to earn Sam's love.

Oddly, though, director Mark Piznarski heaps the audience's affections on Jasper, juxtaposing his strong family structure against Kelley's stoic family.

Once the audience's outrage over Samantha's choice dies down, act two begins, setting the two lovers against Kelley's domineering father.

The love must surpass the father's wishes and Kelley's darker past with his mother's suicide - a plot line introduced in one of the worst monologues in recent memory and then soon forgotten.

With no surprise, their love prevails, and with absolutely no emotional resonance. Then, as if the audience can tolerate any more love woes, act three introduces Samantha's hidden bout with cancer.

This plot line is such an offense and rearticulation of the flick's narrative thrust that it brings laughs, and the easy ending reeks of amateur fiction writing.

Screenwriter Michael Seitzman apparently thought of no other way to close the narrative.

Despite further despicable acts by Kelley, who seemingly never evolves as a character, love wins again - for anyone who still happens to care.

"Here on Earth" falls into a teen-drama trap, representing love in movie conventions and making everything seem artificial and unromantic.

There is even a scene where Kelley carries an injured Samantha off into the horizon - one of many pathetic glamour shots.

"Here on Earth" is simply unoriginal, unsatisfying, and laughably melodramatic - a waste of talent and a waste of time.