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Commentary - Why not play at IU?

Dear Teddy Martin,

After reviewing your game tapes and interviewing your high school and AAU coaches, it has become quite clear that you are the perfect candidate to play basketball at the University of Indiana.

Your size, leadership and sweet shot make you the ideal player for our system and I envision you someday leading me and my beautiful collection of red sweaters to a national championship.

You are going to have to be tough though, because I don't want any fu#$%! pansies wasting my time.

If you are soft, then you will grow up soon and become a man because there are better things to do than scream and yell at you.

I could be hunting or shooting my best friend in the ass like deer season last year, never mind I didn't have my hunting license.

There is no better choice than IU either, I have wasted more careers than the Arizona State Journalism Department.

I have taken every player with NBA potential and turned them into sh*@, just ask Calbert Cheaney and Damon Bailey.

I had no effect on Isiah Thomas, though, he was just too good a player to be affected by my horrendous coaching.

Never mind them though, I am going to expect a lot out of you. My practices are hell, just watch the new video released by CNN/Sports Illustrated. Yeah, that is me doing my best Latrell Sprewell impersonation on Neil Reed, but he deserved it.

Damn kid couldn't run the offense to perfection on the second day of practice.

He should have known that I don't take any crap. Just ask Luke Recker, Steve Alford, Jason Collier and numerous others throughout the years. Those wimps couldn't take my expletive laden tirades and had to leave.

And you think I care that Recker almost died in a car crash last summer?

Yeah right, what that cry baby needs is a good kick in the butt, he's such a pretty boy.

And Alford thinks he can take my job just because I practically tore Reed's head off, what is the big deal about putting a kid in a choke hold.

The IU administration won't do anything though, I have thrown school president Myles Brand out of practice many times. I rule this school and this whole damn state.

Anywise, no one did anything when I kicked my kid Patrick in the middle of a game in 1993. It took a few years of therapy but the little brat still knows I am the boss and he screwed up and deserved what he got.

I bet your parents Beth and Craig wouldn't mind if I assaulted you once in a while.

Teddy, you are going to have to learn that violence makes you remember things. If I punch you for missing a layup, I bet you won't miss a layup again will you.

It is called tough love, it puts hair on your chest and makes you a man.

The media doesn't understand, and if they get me fired then the world can go to hell and I will just go hunting, too bad none of my friends will go with me anymore.

Sincerely,

Bob Knight