Junior professes his undying love for a fortune cookie and believes pennies bring good luck
Wildcat:: Hi, I'm Claire from the Daily Wildcat and you're on the spot.
Smallman:: Woo-hoo!
Wildcat:: What would you do for this fortune cookie? (Holds up fortune cookie)
Smallman:: I would confess my undying love for you, down on one knee, in front of all 12 people here in the Park Student Union.
Wildcat:: So do you think that your fortune might hold that you'll be getting married sometime in the next few days?
Smallman:: Should I open it up? Do I have to confess my love first?
Wildcat:: Yes, yes you do.
Smallman:: (Smallman assumes position in the center of the PSU food court.) All right, ladies and gentlemen of the Park Student Union, I am confessing my love right now for Claire of the Arizona Daily Wildcat. Can I get a round of applause here? (All 12 people applaud · begrudgingly.)
Wildcat:: Do you make public displays of affection often?
Smallman:: When the mood moves me, but not too often.
Wildcat:: How many people have you been in love with, undyingly, today?
Smallman:: Today? Thirteen.
Wildcat:: So I guess that makes me lucky number 13.
Smallman:: (Opens fortune) Yes, and Panda is celebrating 20 years of yummy · so I guess we're not ·
Wildcat:: You might wanna turn that around.
Smallman:: Oh! Many opportunities are open to you. Seek them out.
Wildcat:: So what's the luckiest thing that's ever happened to you?
Smallman:: I found a penny heads up today.
Wildcat:: Are you sure it wasn't someone's very last cent? Now there's some wandering person looking around for their only penny.
Smallman:: Well now you've just made it unlucky! Now I've gotta go find it and put it back where I found it.
Wildcat:: Well that might bring you some good karma.
Smallman:: OK, I'll call UAPD and let them know I found a penny.
Wildcat:: Maybe it'll show up in Police Beat: "Found Penny!"
÷ Interview by Claire C. Laurence