QUESTION: I walk by the Hopi Lodge on my way to class every single day. A couple of weeks ago, a fence rental company was setting up these odd, rectangular fence sections that seem to have no point except to block parking.
÷ Carl R. Nissly, optical sciences and engineering junior
ANSWER:
On East Fourth Street and North Vine Avenue, at the east end of Hopi Residence Hall, lies the conundrum in question.
Is this mysterious section of fencing yet another example of "frustration art," following in line with the inexplicably missing adult teeter-totter and the useless white bike rack?
Or are these baffling chain links part of some Parking and Transportation Services plot to deprive the greater UA community of otherwise excellent parking?
There have been some other, more benign conspiracy theories offered.
Could it be a petting zoo filled with baby kangaroos and alpaca? The solution sounds benign enough, until one considers the moral quandaries involved in snatching a baby kangaroo from its mother's pouch. And what's an alpaca anyway?
Reading from the wrought iron itself, the fence was constructed by Canyon Rent-A-Fence, whose representative referred me to the company Īs client: the enigmatic Arizona Public Service. I spoke with Randy Drake, APS spokesman.
"Actually, it's for an APS staging area," said Drake.
Pay dirt! We all know that APS is also an acronym for the American Psychological Society. I knew the fence enclosed a "staging area" for some sort of psychological experiment to be unleashed on an unwitting college populace!
Drake put a smile on my face. He told me that the staging area was meant for some equipment that was going to be moved into the library.
But what kind of insidious equipment? Neuro-wave transmitters? Subliminal psychotic projection apparatuses?
"Oh, you know, it's for air conditioners and heaters, stuff like that," said Drake.
How exciting. From now through the end of September, six perfectly good parking spots will be reserved as a staging area for library renovation. Air conditioners. Heaters. "Stuff like that." Sorry, Hopi residents.
Case closed.
÷ Kris Cabulong, campus detective
The Campus Detective appreciates e-mail from real live people! If you've got a UA-related mystery or conspiracy, write him at catcalls@wildcat.arizona.edu!