We've all seen them jiggling like Jell-O juggernauts attached to old men jogging past our idling cars. And we've all, subsequently, looked into the sky and asked the dark, despairing question: "Why, God? Why man-boobs?"
Those who suffer from taking-your-shirt-off anxiety, or who have insecure male friends, realize how serious the issue can be, especially for the self-conscious male looking to impress every weekend.
Gynecomastia, the medical term for abnormally large breasts in men, is a condition that can be attributed to weight, steroid abuse and genetics, among other causes, said registered nurse Debbie Connell from the department of plastic surgery at University Physicians.
While a bulging chest may be the result of large pectoral muscles, Dr. Bob Dryden from Arizona Centre Plastic Surgery said most people know the difference.
"They know if they have breast formation or fat accumulation there," Dryden said. "When we have patients come in talking about that, they know that's what it is and not a large muscle."
Dryden said that more often than not, fat, not breast tissue, is the cause of gynecomastia.
According to the surgeon, if a male reaches a certain weight and fat content, his body begins turning testosterone into estrogen, rendering breasts commonly referred to as man-boobs. Dryden added that the same testosterone-to-estrogen process, called aromatization, also occurs in older males.
When viewed objectively, man-boobs are merely the busty combination of chemical makeup mixed with a divine sense of humor.
Undeclared sophomore Gregorio Canelos has a theory for their genesis.
"I know guys get man-tits from smoking weed," he said.
"As far as I know, that's a myth," Dryden said.
Other UA students offered ways to distinguish between a man's chest and a potential breast.
"If during physical movement, his breasts move separately from his body," explained Madeline Froning, a political science and communication junior, "as if they had a mind of their own."
"When they jiggle when you're brushing your teeth," said math senior Zack Scheu.
Scheu said he thinks he has man-boobs and points to his weight as a major contributing factor.
"I think it's normal since people are overweight in America," Scheu said about man-boobs. "But it would be nice if they weren't there."
Scheu said his man-boobs are embarrassing. He jogs, bikes and performs calisthenics to lose the extra pounds.
"I've lost weight, but the man-boobs remain," Scheu said.
The math senior is taking his man-boobs in stride, however, and even has ideas about using them to his advantage.
"If you get pulled over, you could try to show some cleavage," he said.
Man-boobs, however, have deep social ramifications, and their spheres of influence go beyond those of their owners.
Psychology junior Lanie Anderson said large man-boobs would prove a distraction in any relationship of hers.
"I would not date a guy with larger breasts than myself," Anderson said. "I would always be comparing myself."
"Yeah, I'm not into that role-reversal shit," said Froning, sitting on the bench next to Anderson.
So what can be done about man-boobs?
A "Seinfeld" episode suggested the male version of the bra with the innovative introduction of the "bro" and the "manssiere."
"I think probably working out and eating healthier," offered Jeff Smith, a 2000 political science alumnus.
But nutritional sciences junior Ashlyn Aneloski, a certified personal trainer at the Student Recreation Center, said it is not as simple as just losing weight.
"First of all, you can't target fat removal from one place," Aneloski said. "When you do cardiovascular exercises, your body removes the fat from where it wants to."
Aneloski added that to remove fat from the chest area, students should do all-around exercises to decrease total body fat and then work on muscle toning.
"If you want to gain muscle on your chest, you can benchpress and dumbbell fly," Aneloski said.
If weight is the problem for a member of the UA male community, the Rec Center is open most of the semester.
"If it's really bothersome to you, I'd seek out surgical intervention," said Carrie Smith, a 2001 UA alumna.
Dryden said men seeking surgical correction often do it because they are embarrassed.
"They're embarrassed to the point where they don't even want to talk to a plastic surgeon about it, and they shouldn't be that ashamed," Dryden said. "If it bothers them, they should deal with it. (That) you can do something about it today is the nice thing."
If men opt for surgical correction, Dryden says most procedures only require liposuction. The same is true at the department of plastic surgery at University Physicians.
"If it's not a lot, if it's fatty, they usually liposuction it, and that can be done in an office," Connell said.
If the breasts are large, Connell said the procedure is similar to any breast reduction surgery, where fatty tissue is cut out of the chest.
Or students can just learn to love their bodies as a way to deal with gynecomastia.
"I don't think it's important whether you have them or don't," Canelos said.