OK, OK, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Why, oh why, did Kevin Smith make a cheesy movie about a single father? Liv Tyler? PG-13? Where the hell are Jay and Silent Bob?" I know you're thinking this because I thought it, too. But as an avid Kevin Smith fan, I felt that it was my duty to go and see why he has strayed so far from the path we have all enjoyed him beating. So, to all Kevin Smith fans and non-Kevin Smith fans alike, I am here to report that he has not sold out. He's grown up.
The basic overview of the story is that Ben Affleck marries J.Lo, and she gets pregnant. Something happens and Affleck ends up a single parent who, after much deliberation, decides to dedicate his life to raising his kid. However, he is torn between the life that he had (successful and rich in New York) and the life that he is having (living with George Carlin in Jersey). Well, you can probably guess the rest.
I can sense a general reluctance to go see this movie. So let me answer some of the burning questions you all have. OK, first: J. Lo's cameo is just that. A cameo. She is only in the movie for like 15 minutes. This is not a Bennifer movie.
Second: the worst part of the entire movie is the preview. The preview does not represent the film. The preview is heinous and stupid. The movie is not. End of story.
Third: Tyler is actually cute in the movie. No creepy elf weirdness like in "The Lord of the Rings," or you know, her everyday life. Did you see her at the Oscars? Ye gods. No, none of that. She has her "Armageddon"-like charm, minus the big budget plot. Plus, she has to talk about porn and masturbation. Scratch that. She gets to talk about porn and masturbation. Sweet.
Fourth: Jay and Silent Bob would not fit into this movie. It's not good to force something for the sake of continuity. Smith is trying something new. I respect that. But, if you want a Jay and Silent Bob fix, go get high and watch "Clerks." I respect that, too.
Fifth: the movie is PG-13. This is true. But, it is a racy PG-13 to be sure. You'll be pleasantly surprised.
Finally, we have not yet discussed Affleck. Affleck has always been good doing independent, low-budget movies. Why did he start doing action movies then, you might ask? Two words: bling bling. But he is going back to his roots, and I can say with all honesty that he didn't suck. There was only one monologue of his that made me snicker, but it's to be expected. I can't jump aboard the Affleck Express until he proves that he's serious about the whole acting thing again.
Don't misunderstand me. This is a cheesy movie. But it's a good cheesy, like Doritos. It's not "dangerously cheesy." (I'm trying to make things clearer for the potheads.) Anyway, it's not overkill on the whole "love" thing. It's just right. Goldilocks-style.