Middle-aged woman shuts the hell up in class


By Mark Sussman
Arizona Daily Wildcat
Thursday, April 1, 2004

Despite an extensive history of running her damn mouth off, 53-year-old undergraduate Dana Hornsbrook finally shut the hell up yesterday.

Hornsbrook, a psychology major returning to school after a 35-year break, was silent throughout yesterday's Structure of Mind and Behavior discussion section.

"I don't know what happened," said Dan Levine, a 21-year-old history junior. "Normally, nobody can get a word in edgewise once Dana starts flapping her lips. But yesterday, she didn't say anything."

Students say Hornsbrook's inane babble started even before the beginning of the discussion section's first meeting.

"I was just sitting there flipping through the textbook and she started talking at me," said Leslie Burton, a 19-year-old undeclared freshman. "First she started complaining about how hard it is to get her sister's kids to daycare before she has to go to work. Then she kept talking about how she's a psychology major and doesn't even need this class, but she found the topic so interesting. I don't know. I kind of drifted off after a few minutes."

Her family claims Hornsbrook decided to attempt an undergraduate degree at the UA in order to get a better career. Unfortunately, her job working the phones at the Red Cross and familial obligations only allowed her to take six credits per semester, dragging out her college career over the course of seven years.

During those years, Hornsbrook has left an impression on nearly everyone she has come in contact with in the classroom.

"Oh yeah, I remember that one," professor William Burgess said, who was a lecturer in Hornsbrook's first psychology class. "She would sit right up front, and any time I paused, she would raise her hand. She totally dominated the class period and then it was nothing but dumb, obvious questions or utterly irrelevant stories about her kids. That woman would not shut the hell up."

But that all changed Wednesday when Hornsbrook, for the first time since the beginning of her college career, was silent for an entire class period.

"She didn't even look sick or anything," Levine said. "She just came in, took notes, packed up her stuff and left at the end of class."

Teaching assistant and discussion leader Ken Abramson was taken aback by the development.

"This is the first class period I haven't wanted to throttle that woman," Abramson said. "Last week, she spent eight minutes talking about some difficult caller at her job. Like anybody gives a shit! Frankly, I was shocked when she slipped out of class without a word. I sincerely hope (Hornsbrook) has learned when to shut her piehole."

Hornsbrook was unwilling to comment on this story, for once.