Freshman sees purple rabbits, doesn't read the Daily Wildcat
Wildcat: Hi, I'm Claire from the Daily Wildcat and you're on the spot.
Beller: What's that?
Wildcat: God! Nobody reads anymore. How do you get through college without being able to read?
Beller: I guess you don't. · I just don't read the Wildcat.
Wildcat: Boo! Shame on you. Well, it's a column where I talk to people and make them look stupid. Well, they make themselves look dumb. · But yeah, that sums up my version of "On the Spot."
Beller: Well, I guess that's why you picked me.
Wildcat: Wow. Are you saying that you're stupid?
Beller: Uh-oh · it begins already.
Wildcat: Do you mind if I sit down? I just had surgery yesterday, and I'm feeling a little woozy.
Beller: Ha. That sucks, dude.
Wildcat: Yeah, but I've been getting to see lots of cool stuff like those little purple rabbits over there. Can you see them? Bob, George and Phil.
Beller: Yeah, I can. How do you know their names?
Wildcat: They talk to me ÷ you mean, they don't speak to you, too?
Beller: (laughing) No, I only see them. I just had surgery, too.
Wildcat: Really? Did you have the reverse lobotomy?
Beller: (scratches head and stares off into space) Umm · yeah. Uh · I dunno.
Wildcat: I guess you must have gotten the lobotomy then. So, when I got out of surgery, I saw all sorts of strange things. It was like another world.