Quentin Tarantino's at it again.
BUCHIK: He shot a pansy cuddle fest and called it "Kill Bill Vol. 2."
SMITH: Wow. All right, let's call KB2 the ying to KB1's yang. It's a pacing/balancing act. The action and intensity is a bit lopsided in the two movies. I went into "KB2" salivating for the smattering bloodfest to end all, but got something way different: Tarantino dialogue.
BUCHIK: I am definitely down for some Tarantino dialogue, and usually, it sings. But his lines are butchered by one David Carradine (Bill).
SMITH: See, I didn't think Ol' Kung Fu did that bad of a job. One thing I did wonder about right off was the beginning where the Bride is supposed to be all stealthy and well-trained, but she makes a total boner move that gets her ... yeah.
BUCHIK: Well, they add guns in this one. And guns kill. So she gets caught right away, and then has to get away and take out the rest of the Deadly Viper gang. Obviously, she does. But we also get to go back in time and see a lot of the reasons why Bill shot her in the first place and some nifty ninja training by an old man with wicked eyebrows.
SMITH: Yeah, the ninja training scenes are shot in that grainy '70s-style and are rad. I just found KB2 more suspenseful and the first more of a bloated, hollow, fat Elvis, cocaine movie.
BUCHIK: But if the first was up on cocaine, then this one is down on elephant tranquilizers. I think fans of the first one will be unhappy with this new drug, even if it still gets you fucked up.
SMITH: It's weird. As two separate movies, I'm not sure it works. As one whole movie, it works. All the blood and action is in the first, and the soul is in the second half. It would have been nice if Tarantino mixed it up a bit, instead of resorting to such extremes. One thing I will say is nobody will be expecting the content of KB2 (unless they are reading this).
BUCHIK: I think that the first one stood alone as a great two-hour ride. The second one doesn't work for me, but maybe that's because I didn't watch the first one immediately before the viewing. That would be my recommendation for all KB1 fans: See if it works to watch them one after the other, no more than 30 seconds after the KB1 credits.
SMITH: I haven't seen KB1 since October. Maybe I need to see it again, but from what I remember, the way this one played out made sense. I mean, where could Tarantino go after KB1 action-wise? There was nowhere else to go.
BUCHIK: He could have gone the same way, but with more ass-kicking. Personally, I think Carradine can't cut it physically like he used to, so Tarantino was forced to go with an anti-climactic battle between the Bride and Bill.
SMITH: It's like this: The first one was like a raging party, and the second one was like the chill day after, both equally as valuable.
BUCHIK: Well, this was definitely as painful as having a hangover. Either I missed the understated brilliance of KB2 or Tarantino played a sick joke on all his fans. This thing was sappier than "Beaches."
SMITH: Dizz-am. This is going to be like Speakerboxxx/Love Below arguments. I'm sure similar debates will rage on around smoky bongs and coffee shops nationwide. This is just the beginning.