Britney Spears
In the Zone
(Jive)
Meet Briyoncˇ.
She may not have Jay-Z on her arm, but she's definitely catching on to the hip-pop that Destiny's diva so adroitly nails - and they're even beginning to look alike. For Zone,
Brit's totally scrapped the fake-tan, pigtail charm of '99 for her new role as classy ho.
OK, for the Britney-haters, lemme just say that all of us can love this album and Britney if we just accept the facts: Yes, she still whispers orgasmically when she should be singing. And sure, her campy ballads "Shadow" and "Everytime" would be better done by Jessica Simpson. So yeah, all the talent on the album lies in the instrumentalists, mixers and background vocalists. But once it's agreed that Britney's on the same talent plane as Tori Spelling, we can all appreciate what she does have to offer: super-fun dance music.
These songs are flashy. Most of them will grab you - scored in minor with syncopated rhythms and lots of instrumental innovation. They bust out with violins, banjos and even some Punjabi instruments to ride the recent Indian music wave. And Brit experiments a bit; when she's not in heat or imitating Beyoncˇ (rather unsuccessfully), she tries her hand at rap. In "Brave New Girl," a track that sounds part Madonna-techno and part Spice Girl, Britney proves she can pack in the syllables. She also wraps up "The Touch of My Hand" with some melismatic high-pitched "heys" that somehow sound hauntingly pretty.
The only celeb who pollutes Zone is not Britney, but Madonna. I'm sorry, but Madonna, it's time to go. I'm sure I'll buy all your greatest-hits albums, but unless you cut your hair and stop trying to cash in on the Britney craze, you're far too annoying to appreciate.
Rest assured, Britney. In the Zone will place you securely at the top of the charts. And rightly so.
Sounds Like: A favorite for jazz dance teachers
See Also: Beyoncˇ, Kylie Minogue, (recent) No Doubt
Triumph The Insult Comic Dog
Come Poop With Me
(Warner Bros.)
Triumph, the dog/hand-puppet of creator Robert Smigel (also the creator of "Saturday Night Live's" Ambiguously Gay Duo), and who is a regular on "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has recorded a comedy album. Apparently there was a demand. When not getting in fights with J. Lo or Eminem at MTV Awards shows, Triumph utilizes an unknown accent and rapier wit to, you guessed it, insult people. On TV it is sometimes hilarious.
However, minus the visual accompaniment of seeing a rubber-dog-puppet with stoned eyes and a cigar
hanging out of its mouth verbally "pooping" on interviewees, the audible portion of this album falls flat. The songs (with guests including Jack Black, Conan O'Brien and Horatio Sanz) range from funny, like "30 Seconds Of Magic" with Adam Sandler, to the nails-down-a-chalkboard grating "Blackwolf."
The real treat of this album is the bonus DVD portion where we get to see the songs performed live with all the guest duets and some bonus interviews. The interviews are clearly the winners here, as Triumph, performing on stage in New York, brings out MTV's Kurt Loder (lots of old jokes) and Iann Robinson (fat jokes), Jared "Subway" Fogle (he eats 6-inches for lunch and 12-inches for dinner) and more to rail on.
By far the best bit of this entire
collection is when Triumph brings out a jaded (seriously) and drunk Ben "Dell Guy" Curtis to roast. The "Dude You're Getting A Dell!" kid gets booed by the audience upon first sight and is flippant and pathetic as he attempts to justify/defend, with a look of true disdain, his career. It's easily worth the price of admission alone.
Sounds Like: Your Uncle Lenny, drunk at Thanksgiving.
See Also: Drunken family get-togethers.
(DVD Review)
Tenacious D
The Complete Masterworks
(Epic)
Where to begin?
The D has included their full collection here. No skimps.
A live performance from London's famed Brixton Academy that may or may not include Jack Black battling a giant inflatable dragon is on the first disc entitled "For Fans." Also in the disc-one club are the six original HBO half-hour shows that started the whole thing. From these shows is where a lot of the songs from 2001's self-titled debut came from. The songs make a lot more sense once you watch the shows, which are coincidentally funny.
The second disc, called "For Psycho Fans," includes three hilarious short films in which Jack Black may or may not give band-mate Kyle Gass head, combine ejaculation discharge with Gass' and sell it, and trip face on powerful acid. Add these nuggets to powerful Tenacious D television
appearances on Conan, Mad TV and Crank Yankers. Then it's on to the music videos and a look behind them, where we get to see Black and Gass complaining about having to shoot inside a tunnel made of manure in their "Wonderboy" video. About the animated video for "Fuck Her Gently" done by "Ren & Stimpy's" Spumco: There are many reasons it never made it on MTV.
Capping everything off is two documentaries. One shows the D in the studio creating the new album in between eating breaks and the other is an extensive tour video diary. If you know Tenacious D, you probably already own this or should. If you don't know who they are, you probably aren't reading this anyway.