On the spot


By Claire C. Laurence
Arizona Daily Wildcat
Wednesday, January 28, 2004

No Anchovies employee's porn name would be "Harpoon," but only if they don't show his face

Wildcat: Hi, I'm Claire and you're On the Spot.

Jason: What's that?

Wildcat: It's a regular column we do where we let people make fools of themselves ... I mean ...

Jason: Uh-oh. Well, that shouldn't be hard with me.

Wildcat: Excellent. So, is that mold on your head, or were you trying to find your inner leprechaun?

Jason: Naw, I bleached it twice and then died it green. I've got the tennis ball head thing going on.

Wildcat: Is the crazy color a regular thing, or was it a drunken accident?

Jason: Naw, I've had my hair all sorts of wild colors. I've had pink, purple, green, black, lavender and white all at the same time.

Wildcat: Wow. It sounds like you had a seizure in a paint store. Would you ever do something wild like star in an adult film?

Jason: Well, only if they couldn't see my face.

Wildcat: So what would your porn name be? Mr. Head?

Jason: No! The Harpoon! Oh, and then there's that formula for finding your porn star name. It's the name of your first pet and then your last name is that street that you grew up on.

Wildcat: It would suck if your pet's name was Tiny...

Jason: Yeah, and if the street was Johnson. Ha ha! Tiny Johnson!

Wildcat: Mine would be Casey Calle Cavillo. That might work, but it's not perverted enough.

Jason: Yeah, lots of stuff wouldn't work. It would suck if you grew up on Fourth Street or something like that.

- Interview by Claire C. Laurence