What makes New Hampshire so gosh-darn special? Excuse me, but Arizona has a very important primary tomorrow, and we need every eye on us. So when I flip on CNN, every third phrase out of Judy Woodruff's mouth better be "Old Pueblo" or "Valley of the Sun."
I mean, c'mon: Is New Hampshire somehow more important than we are? Its history more significant? Its citizens wiser? Heck no.
Let's look at the facts: We have the five Cs (copper, cattle and whatever the other ones are), the Grand Canyon and more than 5 million people. And really, would Chief Justice Rehnquist hang out here for years if we weren't the bomb? No. So what do we have to do to get some attention around here? The Esau treatment has to stop.
So what exactly goes on in New Hampshire? Well, for the benefit of the UA, I went there three times in the last year to find out.
At first glance, it's a rinky-dink state over in that Maine-New Jersey area. Its little over a million folks congregate in pokey towns that boast bizarro-world names like Freedom, Unity and Sandwich. You can't stand outside longer than three minutes without having the cold suck the life out of you. And good luck trying to find the charming stucco of the Southwest; all you'll find is colonial, colonial, colonial.
And then there's Dunkin' Donuts. Whether you're 5 or 105, whether you want to study or propose to your girlfriend, it's where you go. (I swear there are more of those things in New England than confiscated IDs at Maloney's.)
So why would I leave Starbucks and sunny Arizona for such a frigid, two-bit state? Because last week, the unassuming little Granite State donned the glass slippers. As the Cinderella of the presidential primary, New Hampshire dazzled TV viewers everywhere for a week straight.
And the ballroom was packed. Photographers, reporters and campaign staffers spilled into the streets of Manchester, waiting to take their turn 'round the dance floor. But New Hampshire, as always, was a tease, whispering the names of several gentlemen into eager ears, and releasing her favorite suitor only at the last imaginable second.
And why'd she wait? Why not pick her ideal man from the get-go? Because as the nation's most beloved primary, New Hampshire has a responsibility, and she takes it to heart. Call the average New Hampshire voter, and he'll tell you, "Well, you know, I've been watching them on TV for months, and I've met all of them a couple of times. But I really haven't made up my mind."
These guys have the luxury of chewing the fat with every candidate and the honor of casting some of the first votes. So they live it up and mull over their decision for eons, as the media and the world bite their nails in anticipation.
Enough! I'm sorry, New Hampshire; I love you and your Dunkin' Donuts surplus dearly, but Arizona so needs to be in the spotlight right now.
It's time for some action. You, me and the late Barry Goldwater all know how friggin' cool it is to be an Arizonan; we just need to convince the rest of the country. Sure, the media has seven states to cover right now, but we all know Arizona's where it's at. And why?
Because this year, we're taking our vote more seriously than ever.
We get to be the third ones in the nation to vote (well, sort of), and it's a sure sign that we're moving up in the world. Let's do a good job, have the primary gods smile on us, and maybe soon we'll be the first ones to vote.
I mean, can you imagine? Katie Couric partying on Fourth Avenue? Hottie Anderson Cooper stopping you outside the union for an interview? This could be big.
So here's the plan: New Hampshire had record voter turnout this year for the Democratic candidates. And so should we. We want a better country just as much as anyone else. Let's prove it and vote.
Maybe you don't care about "changing the nation." Fine. Maybe you're just tuning in and don't even know where to start. Understandable. But just check out the candidates' Web sites for a few minutes and vote anyway.
Look, we need to show those smarty pants in New Hampshire that we're cooler than they are. Let's find out where to vote, get to the polls and take three minutes to have our say.
But don't vote just because a paltry amount of folks our age do. And don't vote just because you can't handle another four years of Bush. Vote because we have to take a stand. Arizona's the most important in the nation, by gum. And tomorrow, we won't let her down.
Eliza Tebo is a history senior. She can be reached at at letters@wildcat.arizona.edu.