On the Spot


By Claire C. Laurence
Arizona Daily Wildcat
Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Psychology freshman hangs up on his girlfriend and will eat a Twinkie out of someone's derriere

Wildcat: Hi, I'm Claire from the Wildcat and you're On the Spot.

Hines:: Umm ... I'm ... on the phone.

Wildcat: Oh. Who are you on the phone with?

Hines:: My girlfriend.

Wildcat: Well, do you think she'd understand if you hung up on her for the sake of the Wildcat?

Hines:: (to girlfriend) Uh, can I call you back really quick?

Wildcat: Score! Wildcat one, girlfriend ZERO!

Hines:: (laughing) Uh-oh.

Wildcat: So, do you think you're going to hear about this later?

Hines:: Yeah. When I call her back, she'll probably yell at me.

Wildcat: Well, you can tell her it's all my fault.

Hines:: OK. What's your name so I can give it to her so she can yell at you?

Wildcat: Uhh ... it's Bob. My name's Bob. So, are you usually in the doghouse with your girlfriend?

Hines:: No, I'm a good boyfriend.

Wildcat: So, what do you do for her?

Hines:: (laughing) Uhh ... what do you mean by that?

Wildcat: Hey! I didn't mean it that way! Don't get dirty with me. So, what extra special things do you do for her ... other than hanging up on her?

Hines:: Other than hanging up on her, I spend like 90 percent of my time with her and take her to dinner and stuff like that.

Wildcat: So, does that mean you have some special plans for Valentine's Day?

Hines:: Yeah, but if you're putting it in the paper, I can't tell you.

Wildcat: So, what do you think is in that shake you're drinking? It looks like blended cow stomach.

Hines:: Well, in a way it looks like that. But it's got strawberries, bananas and pineapples.

Wildcat: Well, it totally looks like one of those "Fear Factor" shakes. What crazy "Fear Factor"-ish thing would you do to prove your love to your girlfriend?

Hines:: I'd uhh ... I'd eat a Twinkie out of someone's ass.

Wildcat: Anyone's in particular?

Hines:: Umm ... the drummer from Goldfinger.

Wildcat: That sounds like a nasty place to be.

- Interview by Claire C. Laurence