'Coming Out' day promotes division

She is a mother from Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (P-FLAG), and her son is gay...

I remember her speaking eloquently about the implications of having a gay son. She made it clear that after she found out, she and her husband made every effort to be open-minded about the issue to make their son feel secure.

She described how difficult it was for her son to tell about his homosexuality to the rest of his family. I got the discouraging impression that she saw his coming out as an "admission" of having a disease called homosexuality rather than living a lifestyle called homosexuality.

Unknowingly, she made it sound like he had to "admit" to his family that he was homosexual as if he had some sort of socially unacceptable disorder.

In the wake of National Coming Out Day, I remembered her discussion and wondered .

Why do some homosexuals choose to disclose their sexual preference to everyone they come in contact with, including friends, family and even mere acquaintances? Is it necessary for everyone to know whether they are homosexual or not? Isn't it possible to become friends with a person without first knowing their sexual preference?

Ultimately, her talk woke me up to the unfortunate reality that no matter how hard we try to stop, our society still perpetuates the myth that homosexuality is a social disease.

National Coming Out Day has been celebrated on Oct. 11 since 1987, and although the event is a positive approach to battle societal ignorance about the gay community, it seems to perpetuate the myth as well.

Today, the event allows gays, lesbians and bisexuals the opportunity to take a step toward climbing out of society's handmade, isolated closet that oppresses them because of their sexual preference.

By revealing their sexual orientation to family and friends, homosexuals have a chance to make a personal leap that is backed by their own courage, confidence and convictions in their beliefs.

I understand that coming out can be an emotional obstacle that some find impossible to overcome, but I know some who have found the courage to leap over the hurdle in search of a greater level of personal freedom.

I respect those who choose to reveal their sexual orientation, for homosexuality is not something to be ashamed of. I question, however, whether having a National Coming Out Day furthers the very discrimination the gay community is trying to rid society of, for the event promotes an observable form of separatism between homosexual and heterosexual lifestyles.

To get rid of this polarization, a National Heterosexual Coming Out Day could be established, but that wouldn't solve society's inherent problem of ignorance toward the gay community.

In actuality, we live every day beneath the false assumption that everyone is heterosexual. In this respect, everyday is National Heterosexual Coming Out Day. States celebrate it when they grant marriage licenses to heterosexual couples but withhold them from homosexuals.

Gays, bisexuals and lesbians have every right to be open about their sexual preference, but should they be so open about it that when they meet others, the first thing they mention after their names is their sexual preference? This type of "coming out" promotes a harmful division between heterosexuals and homosexuals, and it acts to widen the "difference" gap between both lifestyles.

With respect to National Coming Out Day, does a day dedicated to acknowledging difference through the "admittance" of homosexuality serve to further widen the same "difference" gap?

Although National Coming Out Day promotes a form of separatism, the event is an option that allows gays to open up and find the support they need to battle harmful societal forces of ignorance and intolerance.

Coming out allows homosexuals to relieve the overwhelming pressure of having to live in two different worlds, the one where a partner is introduced as a friend, and the other where he or she is introduced as a date.

Coming out is liberating and empowering, and it allows those in the gay community to stand on the front lines to directly battle society's negative attitude toward homosexuality.

Every day, the gay population wages an uphill battle against society's assumption that everyone is heterosexual. They use National Coming Out Day as a powerful weapon to fight that assumption.

I only hope that their weapon doesn't backfire.

Adam Djurdjulov is a journalism junior. His column appears every other Thursday.

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