Dr. America, out to cure the world

I liken the U.S. government to a doctor who graciously tries to treat all of society's evils, both domestic and international.

Whether or not Dr. America should always lend its powerful medical knowledge to other governments in need is questionable, but because of its international position, the doctor does have an obligation to the world to be a model of democracy that speaks openly for truth and justice.

Some of the time, Dr. America tries a bit too hard to be a world administrator. America's prescription for carpet bombing in Vietnam didn't stop the chaos in Hanoi, and many still equate the doctor's judgment there to malpractice.

Most of the time, however, Dr. America does an admirable job helping its patients with their problems. Kuwait was a prominent patient, and the War in the Gulf was an example of how our own M.D. saved Kuwait from the Saddam Hussein epidemic.

In fact, our elder doctor handles problems of patients around the world and has quite a prolific practice. Kuwait and Vietnam are two distinguished patients of the past, but recently, Dr. America's waiting room has been overflowing with some in need of urgent care...

China and its inhumane treatment of females awaits treatment in Operating Room #1. Bosnia and its internal strife lingers in Operating Room #2.

Bosnia, the doctor will see you now...

In this case, Dr. America has to take the role as head surgeon to unstrangle Bosnia from the tangled NATO intravenous that keeps choking the life out of plans to resolve the conflict. The elixer Dr. America prescribes in cases like these is a formula that has one main side effect: violent intervention. The formula has been tested and proven effective with the War in the Gulf. It's called F-16 Weareforcedtointerferus.

Although a full dose has not yet been prescribed, we do know that NATO aircraft have been shelling Serb-held targets in Bosnia to force the Serbs to move their heavy weaponry at least 12.5 miles from Sarajevo, a U.N. safe zone.

Dr. America is aware of an ever-present threat that U.N. troops might withdraw from the Alliance formed to end the conflict. It has become clear that the European NATO alliance is a fragile entity that requires American leadership, so Dr. America decides to step into the operating room to complete the surgery.

Our doctor seems forced to take the scalpel when others cannot get the job done. (Incidentally, Dr. America sees this as a compliment from esteemed colleagues about the strength of its leadership capability).

China, the doctor will see you now...

It doesn't take long for Dr. America to diagnose China's problem, and the procedure used in these cases is a common one. It's most frequently used with governments who need an outside party to intervene because the rights of its citizens are being ignored. Direct military intervention is usually not a side effect, but most of the time, the patient hates going under the knife. The surgery is called Nonviolent Weshouldinterferus.

This treatment relies on the performance of Hillary Rodham Clinton, America's chief human rights surgeon. She makes the first incision into the tough skin of the Chinese government by attending the U.N. Women's Conference held in Beijing. Surgery continues as she addresses how China's 600 million women are still being treated as second-class citizens.

She speaks with fervor, asserting that "it is a violation of human rights when babies are denied food, or drowned, or suffocated, or their spines broken, simply because they are born girls" (Arizona Daily Star, Sept. 6, 1995). She also criticizes China for limiting press coverage of candid discussion about women's issues.

TheChina Daily reports that 90 percent of China's women know of the U.N. Conference on Women (USAToday, Sept. 8, 1995). Dr. America responds by asking how many of those women will actually hear about the surgeon's address, for China's government controlled presses won't be allowed to publicize the event.

Seemingly, the Chinese government has a powerful tool to resist this interferus procedure. It's called censorship.

True, Dr. America does have limitations, but Weshouldinterferus is being used in China as a form of preventive medicine rather than as a miracle cure to the problem. Dr. America hopes, however, that the surgery in Beijing will be treatment enough to convince the Chinese government that its practices are atrocious violations of basic human rights...

It's clear that Dr. America has no qualms about using its interferus treatments to remedy international maladies. Only time will tell if our elder doctor is writing the proper prescriptions.

Adam Djurdjulov is a journalism junior.

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