There are so many things going on in our country and even on our campus that I have never had difficulty finding a topic for my column. This week though, I had finally grown tired of discussing the Republican presidential race, the IRA's new campaign of terror in Great Britain and women who have trouble finding bras because their breasts are larger than normal. I had almost given up when last Monday, a topic finally hit me (almost). I was driving home from the Rec Center, going west on Sixth Street, when as I passed Park, a car tried to turn left onto Park in front of me. As we all know, there is a huge island at that intersection and there are several signs posted that say 'no left turn.' But this guy missed all of those signs, and when he realized tha t he couldn't continue his turn, he stopped in the middle of the road. So I did what any normal driver would do. I honked the horn and screamed obscenities at him. He then continued to make the turn, ignoring the island completely and driving right over i t. Was it an overzealous student in a 4-wheel drive vehicle trying to race to class? No, it was an 80-year-old man in a Lincoln Continental with Minnesota plates.

I have always thought that the elderly were dangerous on the road, and many times have I seen them drive on the medians on highways, crash into streetlights and get into predicaments with their cars that I didn't think were possible in the movies. I have come to the conclusion that these old folks should not drive anymore.

Remember when you first got your license and your parents told you that in the U.S., driving is not a right, it's a privilege? Mine always told me that if I drove unsafely, they would revoke my privilege because nowhere is it guaranteed to me. When you ar e old, though, it seems that driving becomes a right. When people claim that the elderly should not drive, the elderly reply that their freedoms are being taken away, when in reality a privilege is being revoked because they can no longer drive safely. S omewhere, in between 16 and 80, driving becomes a right.

Next, old folks will claim that they no longer have a means of transportation and therefore their quality of life is impaired. What is really impaired is their ability to react quickly. Operating a two ton mass of machinery requires that the driver be ale rt and have quick reflexes. These skills are known to deteriorate as a person ages. When you have too much to drink, you can't legally drive because your ability to react quickly has diminished (if not disappeared). The same should be true as you age. In addition, the senses of sight and hearing are known to dwindle as a person ages. If you can't see a 'no left turn' sign or hear a siren or horn, how can you safely operate a car?

I'm not saying that once a person hits a certain age that he or she should no longer be able to drive. There are many senior citizens who are quite capable of driving safely. I just think there should be some way to keep an unsafe driver off the streets. Perhaps the DMV should require a new driver's license test every year after a person reaches a certain age, like 65. Most people are too stubborn to realize that they can't drive anymore, and few would give up the privilege voluntarily. I have three livin g grandparents, God bless them, and two don't drive anymore and one only drives in the daylight. I wish everyone were that sensible.

By now my name is on file with the AARP as a public enemy of old people, and my chances of ever being elected to office are gone. The fact that retired people vote the most is probably the reason no one would ever introduce a bill to restrict the driving of senior citizens.

As someone will probably argue, old people are not the only bad drivers on the road. Many young people, especially those who have just turned 16, are bad drivers. I have several friends who drive like maniacs. Unfortunately, there is no way to pass legis lation against stupidity, all we can do is hope the law will catch bad drivers and suspend or revoke their driving privileges. If there were laws against stupidity, Bill Clinton wouldn't be president and the Kennedy family would be exiled.

Ted Dubasik is an accounting and international business senior. His column appears every other Friday.