When I first started doing this column last semester, I made a few jokes about people calling me "Marty" by accident. OK, so I ran the joke into the ground - big deal. My point is, so did the people I work with. After that, anytime I asked someone to do s omething, it was "Sure, Marty," or "Right away, Marty." It was all verrrry amusing.

Yet this remained a joke to people. No one believed I was telling the truth. They all thought is was just a cheap ploy to get good laughs. Well, they were half right.

A few weeks after I stopped writing about the "Marty" jokes, and at the height of my co-workers' "Marty" shenanigans, I finally had proof. Sorting through the mail one day, I happened across an envelope addressed to "Marty Phan."

"Ah ha!" I exclaimed. "Look!" I showed the envelope to a reporter standing next to me. "Read this!" I commanded.

"'Arizona Daily Wildcat,'" he said.

"No, the line below it," I told him.

"Oh - hey! Wait, does your brother work here or something?" he asked.

Frustrated, I nevertheless cut the address sticker out and pinned it up on the bulletin board in the back corner of the newsroom for all to see.

Since then, I have not come across any more envelopes addressed to "Marty Phan." However, I have learned I am not alone in this most ridiculous of name games. As journalists, we are taught that to misspell a person's name is to insult a person's identity. That said, I give you a list of some very insulted people:

Marty Phan: He's the devil guy you see up there in the corner. At least, that's what he becomes when people mistake Monty for him - except he's not usually smiling.

Monte Phan:I like this one a lot. (And while I'm on the subject, I'm also frequently asked if I would "like to make a deal," or if my middle name is "Pi," as in "Monty Pi Phan." This, of course, only works when someone pronounces my name correctly (as in "lawn"). Otherwise, it sounds like "Monty Pi Fan," which makes no sense at all.)

Monty Phann: This puzzled me because the name on the address label should have been taken directly from a form, on which I clearly and legibly printed my name. I didn't think it was that difficult a name to copy off one piece of paper onto another. Weird.

Mr. Mony Phan: Apparently, whoever sent this tried to soften the blow by adding the "Mr." But I guess the secret is out: I did in fact inspire Pommy James and the Shondells' hit song "Mony" and the Billy Idol remake. Now you know the whole story.

Joah Lopez: No, this was not addressed to me. Instead, it was sent to Noah Lopez. It is, however, an honest mistake. After all, the "j" is just above the "n" on a keyboard. And besides, if I had a dime for every time I've seen "Joah's Ark" in print , why I'd be a millionaire, I tell you ...

Bill Lopez: We got the one twice, from two different companies. "Joah" I could understand, but "Bill?" Hey, wait, it gets better.

Miller Lopez: This is perhaps the first double screw-up I have witnessed. This person not only messed up "Noah," but he or she couldn't even get "Bill" right. Noah, Bill ... Miller. Let's see, the "m" is only two keys away from the "b," and the "n" is in between ... wait, I think I'm onto something here ...

Finally, we get to Amanda Hunt.

"How could anyone screw up 'Amanda Hunt'?" you may ask. Well, like this:

Armani Hunt: Yes, she is female features editor by day, male Italian suit designer by night. She/he does it all, folks. That's why she can continue working here on a mere pittance.

I decided not to include all the mail we get for people who no longer work here, such as Paul Allvin, who was editor in 1992. I also did not include Christine "Burgess" Verges, the previous editor, or Greg "D'Avias" D'Avis, who would probably be so ecstat ic someone actually got the apostrophe right that he wouldn't notice the misspelling.

I'm sure the saga has not ended. In fact, I would be willing to bet that when I come to work this morning there will be a few more self-proclaimed comedians in this world - at my expense, of course.

I guess things could be worse. I could have an apostrophe in my name.

Monty Phan is editor in chief of the Arizona Daily Wildcat. His column appears every other Friday.