I saw the weirdest thing Sunday on ESPN.

I was watching the NCAA women's basketball title game, and as Tennessee got close to wrapping up the championship over Georgia, ESPN announcer Mike Patrick reminded viewers to stay tuned for Sunday Night Baseball.

Oh that's nice, I thought. Then it hit me. Baseball? Already?

Yes, it's difficult to believe baseball is back, especially for those of us still clinging to the dying remains of college basketball. Although after last year's season was shortened because of the strike, I guess we should be happy they're at least playing. I think.

It's not to say I don't like baseball, I do - I think I have to. It is our nation's pastime after all.

But let's face it, the game as we know it needs help. I mean, when the best part is a Nike ad promoting Ken Griffey Jr. for president, it's time to make some changes.

I don't mean abolish the designated hitter, or ban artificial turf. And hey, Ken Burns can do a miniseries on the importance of interleague play far better than I can write a column trying to refute it. I'm talking about far more subtle changes that every fan can relate to. Let's bring the game back to our level - the tee-ball level.

1) I'm sure we all remember, after a little league game, getting those tickets for free food at the snack bar. Especially when your team sucked, those tickets were the best part of the evening. So, instead of letting the players douse each other with champagne after wins, give them cherry-flavored Slush Puppies.

2) Bribing should be legal. Every little league probably had one of those fathers - you know what I'm talking about. The guy who would stand in the bleachers and, just when his kid's team was in danger of losing, yell out to the dugout that if they'd win the game, he'd give every kid three dollars to spend at the snack bar. This did two things. One, it sure made that kid's team play a lot better, and two, there was nothing as demoralizing as having the lead and knowing that even if you won, all you would get was the free Slush Puppies. No one was going to buy you a thing.

So liven up the game a little bit - when that utility player comes up to bat with the score tied in the ninth inning, open the stadium up to bidding so the batter has a little more incentive.

3) Here's the big one. Is there anything as useless as having pitchers bat against other pitchers? The guy walks to the plate, waves his bat three times, and walks back to the dugout. So let's try this: The pitcher who bats gets to use a tee. At least this way, he'll put the ball in play. As for the pitcher on the mound, well, let him pretend to pitch the ball, just like in tee-ball.

I'm not making any guarantees, but put those changes in, and Griffey and the Mariner Moose could have a real shot at more than just a pennant.

Patrick Klein is sports editor of the Arizona Daily Wildcat.