The following story is true. However, names have been changed .

Earlier this week, I was visiting my downstairs neighbor, Astro Phil. Astro has a little sister named Stella. She was there with her boyfriend, Eediot.

Stella and Eediot had gone outside to have a discussion. They were out there for quite some time, so I went outside to make sure everything was okay. Eediot was reprimanding Stella for some imagined crime when I walked up. Stella wouldn't make eye contact , but Eediot glared at me. I looked at the two of them and said, "Bzzzzzzzt. Time's up. Go back into the house." This comment apparently irritated Eediot, because he flashed a murderous glare at me.

I then marched upstairs to my apartment to sort laundry. When I emerged from my apartment, laden with a laundry basket, detergent and quarters, I saw Eediot digging his fingers into Stella's upper arms to physically restrain her. Stella's eyes were full o f pain and she was pleading with Eediot to let go. Eediot would not let go; he was too busy spitting angry insults at her.

This infuriated me. I dropped my laundry basket and ordered Eediot to let Stella go. Reluctantly, he let go. I then proceeded to inform Eediot that his physical and verbal abuse of Stella is unacceptable. I told him, "I used to be married to a wife-beatin g Marine, and I just can't stand by and watch another woman being abused by a man."

Eediot said he wasn't abusing Stella, even though he had his fingers buried to the joint in her upper arms and would not let her go. With a deadpan look on my face, I told Eediot that if Stella developed any bruises on her arms, I would make him very, ver y sorry indeed. Then I picked up my laundry basket and marched downstairs. As I passed Stella and Eediot, I heard Eediot mumble something like, "What's the matter with that bitch?"

I turned around and shouted at Eediot, "I'll tell you what's wrong. Everyone pretends you aren't abusing Stella. They look the other way. But, no matter what you think, they know what you are doing. Everybody knows."

After I was around the corner of the building, I heard Eediot roar, "AAAAAAAGH!" in frustration. I suppose he couldn't think of anything better to say.

I was going to write a letter to Stella to tell her about how she doesn't deserve this sort of treatment. Then I started thinking: Stella was not the only woman to be abused by a man this week. So, instead of writing a private letter to her, I have decide d to print the letter. That way, every woman who was abused by a man this week can read the following letter.

Stella:

No matter what he tells you, it is not your fault. He has been grinding your self-esteem away for so long, you probably think everything is hopeless. He tells you that everything that goes wrong in your relationship is all your fault; that there is so muc h wrong with you, no one else could ever want you. He makes himself feel better by making you feel bad.

Stella, I just don't want to see you go through the same ordeal I did. Unlike your boyfriend, my ex-husband did not become abusive until after we were married. Your boyfriend is abusive NOW. Imagine how horrid he would be if you married him. Men like that don't ever get better, Stella. They only get WORSE.

My ex-husband started out by strangling me and hitting my head against the wall. He had a jolly good time doing all kinds of heinous things to me. Eventually, he graduated to torture. He didn't hang me up on a strappado or break me on a wheel, but he wou ld hold me against the wall by my neck, draw his fist back, and ask me a question . I'm sure you can figure out what happened if he didn't approve of my answer. This would go on for hours. One time, I escaped by jumping off a second-story balcony when he took a break from torturing me.

Your boyfriend might never torture you. Maybe he will only spit insults at you, scream obscenities in your face and leave occasional bruises on you. But he will NEVER love you. To him, this is not about love. It's about CONTROL.

Get out while you can, Stella. You are young and beautiful. You have a great personality. I know your boyfriend tells you otherwise, but he is lying. Do you want to spend another minute with a man who makes you miserable? Dump that jerk and find someone w ho won't hurt you. You don't deserve the treatment you are getting. You deserve someone who will love and respect you exactly the way you are.

Paula Huff is a biology junior. Her column appears every other Friday.