It's 12:30 a.m. and I'm in the fourth floor men's restroom of the Main Library. Just doin' my job.

Suddenly, I hear a lot of thumping, banging and a whine from the next stall. Waving my press pass, I rush around the corner screaming, "Freeze, Arizona Daily Wildcat! You're gonna be in 'Police Beat!'"

Peering into the stall, a man and a horse turn around simultaneously.

"Oh no," it occurs to me. "Is this some sort of flashback?"

So goes undercover life of as a Wildcat police reporter. However, police coverage is far from the funny items featured in "Police Beat" itself.

This semester has included rushing off between 11 p.m. and 3 a.m., responding to crime scenes and peering out the window of my VW microbus trying to figure out why the Tucson police helicopter is shining its spotlight near Arizona-Sonora and Coronado Resi dence Halls. I salute you AZ-SO and Coronado residents: You've kept me on my toes.

Perhaps the most notable incident during the past year was the late-night ATM shooting Feb. 5 when a man was shot in the back of the head outside the Bank One branch at 947 N. Park Ave. The victim survived, but the significance of the incident was magnifi ed by the publication of witness names in the following morning's Wildcat.

I was on the scene to see blood spattered in the cab of the victim's pickup. I talked to the witnesses and the paper printed their quotes. Some of the witnesses were scared the following day and I understand that. However, they apparently did not realize that once I identified myself as a reporter and began to write down their account of events, that the material, as well as their names, would be printed in accordance with editorial policy of the Wildcat. Whether that policy was correct was debated at length by newspaper staffers, but in the end, no changes were made. While I'm certain that I made no friends that night, everyone learned a lesson about awareness while dealing with the media.

Such controversy hasn't always surrounded the Wildcat, as many of this year's "Police Beat" items have been close to poetry in motion. Sexual harassment on college campuses is always a problem, but on Feb. 21, a female student took revenge into her own hands. A man had reportedly verbally harassed her, but after he walked past and said, "Nice tits," she turned around and yelled, "What the fuck is your problem?" When the man laughed, the student ran up behind him and dumped a full 32-ounce Thirstbus ter down his back. The female student later described the man as "looking like a chipmunk." Poetic justice? I think so.

This year has also had its share of strange masturbation cases, including several in the Main Library men's rooms and even one in the outdoor courtyard of Coronado Hall. However, when a UMC employee stopped to help a man driving a blue van on April 15, he asked her, "Would you give me a blow job?" When the employee looked, she saw the man's pants were down and police reports said he "appeared to be masturbating." She later told police she would help them with a composite sketch of the man. I (as well as a Wildcat cartoonist) had to ask: a sketch of what?

However, "Police Beat" is not all fun and games, nor (despite what Jon Burstein's book might imply) was it ever meant to be. It not only provides a daily look at campus crimes, but keeps tabs on the university police. Many times, I've followed up suspicio us cases to insure the police stay within their policy statutes. For example, an officer tackled and detained a student trying to evade security personnel at a fraternity party this semester. Why? Because the student was visibly drunk and had been warned several times to stay away. Another case where an off-duty UAPD officer shoved a Tucson youth to the ground after the boy swore at him is still being investigated.

Valid questions have also been raised regarding follow-up reporting when charges are dropped against an arrestee. While an ideal world might dictate instant publication so the arrestee is absolved of all implied guilt, this is not an ideal world. I routin ely see more than 100 new cases during a given week and there are not enough hours in the day to keep tabs on everything. Obviously, this is not a problem for metropolitan daily papers which do not run a log-style column like "Police Beat," where even min or crimes are reported. No solution has yet arrived, but we are considering the problem and how to reform the system accordingly.

Back at the Main Library, I placed the horse and the man under citizen's arrest and transported them to UAPD in my VW microbus. The man was charged with cruelty to animals and contributing to equine delinquency. He was later released. The horse was not ch arged in the incident.

A typical day? No. Out of the ordinary? Probably not.

Zach Thomas is an undeclared sophomore and writes "Police Beat" for the Arizona Daily Wildcat.