Abstinence protects the body and emotions best

Indeed, buying into the popular messages of "safe sex" and "reproductive freedom" causes nothing but disease, heartache, and shattered dreams.

The only true way to protect ourselves from this pain is to choose to abstain from sexual intercourse outside of a marital relationship, where a man and a woman are committed, exclusive partners who share love and life.

Birth control or abortion cannot come close to protecting us because there are several real consequences stemming from the choice to abuse sexuality before marriage.

First, we must consider the physical consequences of relying on condoms or other birth control. Obviously, if a condom is not properly worn, it cannot protect against disease or unexpected pregnancy. However, even if a condom is worn properly, condoms can and do fail.

We must remember that if birth control fails only once, for whatever reason, the result can be a lifelong devastating disease, like AIDS, or an unexpected pregnancy.

With an unexpected child on the way, the mother has few choices. She can abort the child, causing death to him or her, and risking her own health from sterility, hemorrhaging, etc.

Or, she can carry the child to term, perhaps marrying the father, and devote herself to raising the child before she is ready. Or, she can carry the child to term and offer him or her up for adoption, an emotionally wrenching decision.

These are not pleasant choices, and a passionate encounter cannot be worth the risk of having to select one of these options.

Of course, the father is also left with choices. He can selfishly ignore his responsibility and coerce the mother into having their child aborted, illustrating that abortion "liberates" men, not women.

He can also extricate himself by abandoning the woman and child totally. Or, he can abandon them partially by leaving the woman to handle all decisions about their child alone.

Or, he can urge her to choose life over abortion and advocate adoption, or perhaps marry her, dedicating himself to supporting and raising the child with her. Finally, he can urge her to choose life over abortion, and then abandon her and their child.

Again, having to select one of these options cannot make a passionate encounter worthwhile.

In contrast, the choice to abstain from sex before marriage never results in these kinds of choices because it offers a complete guarantee of freedom from sexually transmitted diseases and unexpected pregnancies.

This is truly liberation, both now and later. A future spouse cannot help but desire a mate who does not have a long and dangerous sexual "rap sheet."

Second, though the previous explanations touched-on the emotional consequences of abusing sexuality before marriage, we must explore them in more depth.

There is no binding commitment in non-marital relationships. Therefore, a trauma like a disease or an unexpected pregnancy, or even something far less dramatic, may easily break a "loving" relationship built on sex. This, coupled with the knowledge that both people have squandered a gift they can never replace, is emotional devastation.

As the Every Student's Choice "Real love" ad picturing condoms puts it, "Too bad they don't make one for your heart" (Wildcat, Feb. 13).

Again, the choice to abstain from sex before marriage spells liberation, this time from emotional agony, now and with a future spouse who cannot help but treasure being the one true love.

A contrast may help to remove any lingering doubts about the value of abstinence from sex until marriage.

For example, Planned Parenthood's approach to sexuality is: "Protect yourself. The one you love may not" (Wildcat, 2/3/97). Exactly, but we must respect ourselves and our future spouses enough not to buy Planned Parenthood's false birth control and abortion panacea to do it.

Lest we believe that Planned Parenthood cannot be so unintelligent or selfish that it cannot see beyond these shallow "solutions," we can also read their ad saying "We can help." How? The ad continues "Abortion Services & Counseling" (Wildcat, 2/10/97). This is "help" that does nothing but enrich their business and hurt us.

Jennifer Clifford of Virginia, and many others, can verify this. Pregnant unexpectedly, Clifford went into a Planned Parenthood store for "counseling." She relates that as soon as the "counselor" found-out that she was uninterested in aborting her child, the woman became rude, and pushed her out the door with a packet of literature designed to change her mind.

They must not mean it when they say "We know how to keep our mouth shut" (Wildcat,, Tuesday). None of us needs help that badly. The best choice of all requires no help at all, just one very simple commitment to abstain from sexual intercourse until marriage.

Kristen Roberts is a pre-education sophomore who believes that the most attractive people in the world respect the gifts of sexuality enough to preserve them for marriage. Her column, 'Life in Balance,' appears every other Thursday. Her homepage can be found at http://www.u.arizona.edu/~knr.

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By Kristen Roberts (columnist)
Arizona Daily Wildcat
February 20, 1997