Ask Anthony

O.K., you already know how I feel about your situation since I have given the same answer to you for the last eight months. But you do raise some interesting questions, and with the help of psychic and godmother Dionne Warwick, we will answer your questions.

To answer your first question, of course a gay man and a straight man can be friends. That's like asking if a black woman and a white man can be friends, or if a catty gay man can be friends with a butch lesbian, or if your shoes and belt colors should match .... YES!

To answer your second question, your are creating more than heartache for yourself. You are creating endless nights of crying, depression, isolation and obsession. Example: One night the straight boy is out carousing with strippers, and allegedly having sex with them. What were you doing? Sitting at home in a snit of jealousy wishing he was having sex with you instead. Have you really sunk to that level? If you have, I hope a friend has called Charter for you, if you haven't gotten help elsewhere. Just remember, gay men and women trying to seduce straight people to be with them: it may take a few hours and a 12-pack, but how long does that moment last, and do you really feel that great afterward? I don't think so. If the gay community is to be accepted as an equal among straight folk, then I think we should quit devising schemes to get them into bed, and devise plans on how to strengthen friendships.

Dear Anthony: This is so humiliating. I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 mos. two weeks ago. I just found out that she's going around telling people that I'm really bad in bed (among other things). I swear, I never knew she felt that way, and that's what probably hurts the most -that and the fact that she's being so mean (we have a lot of friends in common). How am I supposed to handle this? Do I ignore it? Do I tell our friends that she's just flipped out? What? I don't want to spread nasty rumors about her, but I want her to stop. V.S.

One question for you, V.S.: was this girl that evil during your relationship? Do not spread nasty rumors about this evil young lady. Revenge is sweet, but you don't want to stoop to her level.

Do not ignore this situation at all. Nurse Hell-ga recommends that you sleep with all of your mutual friends and show them how wrong she is, but I really wouldn't advocate that.

I think she's going around spreading these rumors because she's upset and isn't mature enough to accept the end of this relationship, whether she initiated the break-up or not. She probably never thought you were bad in bed, but through her lack of truth and maturity, that's the only thing her simple mind could think of to put the blame on you.

So, just be the mature person you've been, and do not stoop to name-calling like she has . If these "mutual friends" believe her instead of you, then you know who your real friends are. As far as trying to get her stop all this silliness, I would confront her and just ask her to stop. If she won't then too bad, she can only act her shoe size and not her age.