Partygoers beware: They don't just eat donuts anymore

To illustrate my point, I will tell you about a party I attended this past weekend. There was music, dancing, fun and a tad of alcohol. But you know how college parties are.

I, being an upstanding pillar of society, spent the night nursing two tall glasses of water and a wicked head cold. Some of my friends were more adventurous than I, partaking of the margarita fountain and the kegs. Everyone was having a good time until th e police arrived.

The first two wandered onto the grounds at about 1:00 a.m. They lectured the owners of the house about the noise level and told them to move out the herd in 10 minutes. To make sure we complied, the officers called one or two more of their brethren and se nt the helicopter over the backyard to check out the situation.

Whew! I'm glad they caught the big criminals before they did too much damage. If they had not interceded, the revelry may have become felonious. At any moment we were on the verge of becoming a riotous mob roaming the streets of Tucson. Luckily the police did step in and made sure all those drunken college students hopped right into their cars so they could drive home. We obviously wouldn't want them sobering up before they left. It really is better to have them in their cars than in one central location.

And what was the result of the entire affair: a warning. The police departed triumphant, having moved the drunks away from the house and into the street, so they felt no need to write citations or make arrests. I applaud the cops for their generosity, but I question why it took three or four officers and a police helicopter to break up one party on a Saturday night.

This sort of police effort is inefficient, at best. One officer would have been enough to clear out that party in 10 minutes But it took three or more officers and a helicopter. Was it a slow night for crime?

I cannot fathom how the police force can justify using such extreme measures to break up a simple party. There are people dying in the streets, yet the officers on duty are all at a party threatening college students. What does the 911 officer say when so meone calls to report a shooting? I'm sorry, sir. We'd love to send someone out there right now, but our officers are dealing with some rowdy college kids having another one of their damn parties.

Or maybe they should stick to important cases like one I heard about a while ago. Some kind old lady walked down the street putting change in parking meters for those whose time had expired. This vicious criminal committed a heinous and vile crime - she h elped people out. I'm glad that lady got put away. We don't want her kind walking around our neighborhoods and being nice. Maybe we should send a helicopter to her house. She might be difficult to apprehend as she escapes in her walker.

While it seems that I bear some grudge toward the men and women in blue, I do not. In fact, I love the police. I admire them for doing work that I could never even imagine myself doing. These fine citizens take bad guys off the streets and make it safe fo r us to walk around our city. I simply question why little things like drinking parties and parking meter fill-ups are worthy of so much effort.

There are a lot of bad things that happen out there in that great big world of ours. The police make sure that bad things do not continue. However, they should probably use their time hunting down murderers, rapists and drug dealers rather than college st udents at a party. I know I'd be willing to send the helicopter elsewhere. Maybe they could shine the spotlight down on a serious crime next Saturday.

Jamie Kanter is a junior majoring in Spanish and psychology. His column, 'On the Flip Side,' appears every other Thursday.

By Jamie Kanter
Arizona Daily Wildcat
April 24, 1997