Two of my friends from high school got married last week. I went to the reception and it spooked me a bit. There they were, two college kids about as old as I am, and they were standing in a line introducing themselves to the world as husband and wife.

Then I saw another friend from high school, this one two years my junior. I attended her wedding reception last fall and she is now several months pregnant. That spooked me a lot.

I know that I'm not ready for marriage and I sure as hell cannot care for a child. I am in utter awe of those who are willing to take the plunge at such an early age. They amaze me with the sheer comfort with which they take such a big step in life. I gue ss I just don't understand marriage.

Or so I thought.

Marriage is simple to understand if you simply look in the right place. Marriage is just like "Top Gun." Fine, you may not believe me now, but listen to my tale and you may see some similarities. For the sake of the story, we will assume that the movie be gins after a long period of dating your partner.

As the two of you grow closer, you have some good times, much like the antics of Maverick and Goose upon encountering the enemy MiG. As you grow closer and time wears on, you contemplate more of a commitment (approaching the aircraft carrier to land). You get scared and you pull up, not wanting to succumb to stability and safety just yet. You choose to press on, even though you know you're low on gas and that you need to land pretty quick. You decide to take the plunge and get married.

Of course, your parents are not pleased. They call you in to discuss a few matters and they tell you that you're being reckless, that you show a blatant disregard for the rules of the house. They dredge up every ugly incident from your past, even the horr ible affair with the admiral's daughter. After their rant, though, they come to their senses and realize that you need to live your own life. They give you your dream shot and send you off to be married.

The first days of the marriage are great. Your confidence is unshakable, as you believe that your marriage is the best around. You enjoy going to bars together and doing wacky things like singing "You've Lost that Lovin' Feeling." Hell, you may even enjoy a good romp on the counter in the ladies' bathroom.

Then, one day, you screw up. You know you should have stayed above the hard deck and there's no chance that the fly-by was a good move. You promise that it won't happen again, but who knows?

Then, one day, you screw up big. Instead of staying with your wing man, as you know you are supposed to do, you have to go looking for Viper. All that power and thrust in-between your legs becomes too much to control and you break off from the course and hunt the big game. You don't think about it; you just work on instinct. Of course you get caught, and then you're in for it.

After you reconcile that argument, a tragedy occurs beyond your control. It throws you for a loop, as you cannot deal with things not being exactly as they used to be. You become tentative, not knowing if you can ever recover that brash, cocky attitude yo u once held.

And then everything goes wrong. You and your spouse are out there, bogies peppering the sky, and you don't know if you can handle things. You leave your wing man and you think about bugging out. You struggle with yourself and you conclude that you cannot abandon your responsibilities. You defeat the bandits and become a hero. You and your wing man then share a heartfelt moment and you know that things will work out for the two of you. That's when you know that your marriage is right.

Many of my friends have already decided that marriage is the way to go. They seem content with the idea that they will spend the rest of their lives in the same cockpit. I admire their resolve, but I realize that their decision is one I simply cannot make right now. For any of you out there who feel the same, I recommend a trip to Blockbuster and a bag of popcorn. You can learn a lot from the movies.

Jamie Kanter is a junior majoring in Spanish and psychology. This is his last 'On the Flip Side' of the year. You can stop reading now.

By Jamie Kanter (columnist)
Arizona Daily Wildcat
May 6, 1997