I don't wanna go to graduation.

So, there I am sitting on the football field at Scottsdale Chaparral High School, waiting for the commencement speakers to finish talking so I could get my diploma.

The odd thing, however, was that I actually listened to the commencement speaker.

That day, Linda Brock - who used to own five dealerships in Phoenix - delivered the speech about how one should always believe that their dreams are attainable and to always do their best. It was truly aspiring. (Hey, I'm not just saying that . it was!!)

Now, it is time (finally) for me to graduate from the UA. This time, however, I do not plan to go to commencement. You may be asking yourself "why, Jeremy, why do you not want to go to graduation? It's something that you'll regret for the rest of your lif e!" See, I know that you are saying this, because that is what my parents and grandmother said to me.

There are three reasons I am not going to graduation.

First, because I am in the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences, my commencement ceremony takes place in the afternoon, specifically 1 p.m. That means that I would have to line up outside, in a stupid black robe, in 100-degree heat. Gee, what better way to go through graduation than with dehydration and nausea!

Second, when I finally did get into McKale, my big moment at graduation would be when the announcement comes for all the social and behavioral sciences graduates to stand up, I can stand up with a bunch of other people. Big deal - I guess that if my paren ts were to go to graduation, they would look for a short person in a robe. Pshaw.

Third, the University of Arizona apparently finds it a waste of money (or honorary degrees) to bring in a real commencement speaker. At the UA, the tradition has been, and continues to be, for the university president to give the commencement speech.

I called around to the other Pac-10 schools to see if this is the norm. It's not.

University of Southern California has former Senator Jack Kemp giving the commencement speech, while University of California has Bill Cosby. Other schools also bring in commencement speakers. At Washington State, they are having William J. Wilson, an alu mni who is now the Malcolm Weiner Professor at the Harvard University John F. Kennedy School of Government; he also was listed as one of the twenty-five most influential persons, according to Time Magazine. The University of Washington is having Meg Green field, a Pulitzer Prize winning editorialist for The Washington Post, give the commencement speech. The University of Oregon is having former United States Senator Mark Hatfield speak to the graduates.

Come on - the UA must have some distinguished alumni!

Apparently, just having the president of the university speak is a state of Arizona tradition, with President Lattie Coor giving the commencement speech at Arizona State.

I guess the reason that President Manuel Pacheco wants to give the commencement speech (again) is to say goodbye, or good riddance, to the university. It still should be a big treat for the graduating students. When people look at the stage and see some g uy with a double-chin, that is Pacheco. I realize that most of the students in the audience will have never seen him before, but trust me - that's him.

I admit that I wonder what he will have to say that won't be "me, me, me." Maybe he'll give a talk on duplicity, such as how his statement of resignation read that "one of the most attractive options is to remain on the faculty here at The University of A rizona," while he was also interviewing at the University of Missouri. Either way, it should be better than last year's speech, which was about the lack of jobs in the real world, and how most of the graduates would end up not working.

So, while others in my graduating class are sweating in the heat, standing up en masse unrecognizable to their families, and listening to the soon-to-be ex-president babble about something inconsequential, I think I will be sleeping. Or packing. Or buying graduation gifts. Or ..

Jeremy Pepper will not attend graduation, but is expected to receive a bachelor of arts degree in Philosophy.