New CD not worth drinking to, daddy-o

Robert Henry Becker/Photo Illustration/Arizona Summer Wildcat

Oh Lord, why have you forsaken me?

The "cocktail nation's first super-star summit" is going to be in record stores on July 15. It's called, get this, Lounge-A-Palooza (Hollywood Records). Did you get that? It features young hipsters doing covers of such lizardly classics as "She Don't Use Jelly" (Ben Folds Five) and old hipsters doing "Black Hole Sun" (Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme)

What hath God wrought?

We're becoming our parents' parents. I mean, what exactly is the redeeming quality of lounge music? It's the straightest., whitest, most repressed music genre ever. You remember the Thompson Twins. Into the Gap had more soul.

But one thing is certain, the whole deal is dying. I bet real money cocktail culture nights at local clubs will be dead as dead before this time next year.

Why, Paloozation has been happening. Paloozation is when the mainstream is introduced to what the music elite are digging. ( Though, I didn't get it when the aficionados I know got so excited by the Friends of Dean Martinez) It's cashing in on the hep. Ho wever, before lounge nights are gone, there will be one in every bar in town. Swingin' at the Wooden Nickel on Saturday night.

And in the meantime, this isn't a bad album by rights. A solid roster of artists including Polly Jean Harvey, Michelle Shocked and Flea, make it as interesting as possible.

For example, the drum loops on Pizzacato Five's "The Girl From Ipanema" put the cover off kilter, to keep you into it, you find a beat beyond the beat.

Combustible Edison and Esquivel!'s "Miniskirt" is manic enough to remind me of a different kind of cocktail. Even the aforementioned Soundgarden song has a certain strange charm, like Steve Buscemi. Even the Fun Lovin' Criminals manage to record a cut tha t doesn't make you ask "How did they get a record contract?"

But the point of this is not music, but cashing in. And the point about cashing in, all you Vegas kids? You leave the casino.

As the publicity for the album states, however ironically, "Lounge-A-Palooza is sure to become the soundtrack of the revamped lounge scene by taking lounge music to its illogical conclusion." It's a conclusion all right.

Put it on the shelf next to the School House Rocks re-recording and If I Were a Carpenter. Take off that tie and open a beer.