 |
 |
By Fen Hsiao
Arizona Daily Wildcat
October 17, 1996
One of the few good bands to ever be released on Sub Pop, many fans were disappointed when the Dwarves were dropped just after the release of their last album, "Sugarfix." Two years later and after the release of several flat Dwarves' off-shoot projects (Penetration Moon and Blag Dahlia), Recess Records has reissued the Dwarves hard-to-find "Toolin For A Warm Tea Bag" EP. Fast, loud, and obnoxious, this reissue must quickly be swept up by any die hard fan of punk rock.Infamous for their live performances, it was believed that San Francisco's Dwarves were dropped by an exasperated Sub Pop after a rumor that band member He Who Can Not Be Named was killed at one of their shows. Though untrue, the story was only part of the enigma surrounding a band that produced songs wholly preoccupied with drugs, sex, and death.
Recorded in 1988, "Toolin' For A Warm Tea Bag" serves as sort of a middle ground between the Dwarves' mediocre "Horror Stories" debut and later releases like "Blood, Guts, and Pussy." Arguably their best stuff, this EP contains a rawness that some found to be missing in "Sugarfix."
With an average song length of one and a half minutes, the Dwarves make the conventional three-minute song seem like an epic. And of course there are few exceptions for a good punk song to exceed that two and a half minute mark, if even that. The songs on this EP are short and fast, which is exactly how it should be.
And, forget about deciphering lyrics, which are far from poetry, because it's much like attempting to penetrate a wall of static. Surprisingly, it does seem like the songs actually contain lyrics other than those in the titles, of which are "It's Your P arty (Die If You Want To) and "Cocaine." Between the guttural screaming and groaning of choruses (?) you can hear such declarations of youth as "You're too young to die," and the twisted sound of a child's laughing/crying at the end of "Let's Get Pregnan t," proving the humor and harmlessness of the song's intentions. These guys aren't trying to prove a point. Forget that. This is punk rock.
However, the Dwarves are more than just head bashing music, they're testament to the true punk aesthetic. This EP is made up of fuzzy guitars, catchy riffs, vomiting, and is so fast it can only be played on a speed of 45. One side is over before you ca n get three jerks of your head in. The music is simple because that's probably all they're capable of playing.
No pretension is found here, and if you're looking for it, I'm sure there's a midnight sale coming up where you can purchase yourself some for twice the amount this record costs. Listening to this EP makes me chuckle when I think about all the chumps d uped into shelling out $15.99 for every Tool import they can find, thinking that it gives them some sort of a hardcore, punk standing. Come on, I don't need some black-dyed-hair man's perception of sensitive ranting backed by the industrial sounds of t he 90s. Save that stuff for the radio and I'll keep this shit for my turntable.
If I actually drank the crap, I'd grab a beer, turn this up and barely have my head tipped back for the first gulp before the end of the first song. This is the stuff my parents warned me about.
|
|
|