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Editor:
Am I supposed to feel sorry for Jessica because she was raped( "No means no," Oct. 18)? Let me get this straight: a guy rapes her, and then he becomes her boyfriend and has frequent sex with her. It sounds like a great deal for him! If he never raped her, he wouldn't be having sex with her now. It shows me that perhaps I don't have a girlfriend right now because I've been too shy about raping any of the women to whom I'm attracted. And her example seems to indicate something else: the more virgins are raped, the more women there will be who say yes to sex.
Jessica, does your boyfriend know that you classify your first sexual encounter as a date rape? Was he completely aware of it being a rape at the time? If not, you're the one to blame. Much of our society has the idea that nice unmarried women aren't into sex. Honest women will tell you that sometimes, no means yes. In some situations, some women can be persuaded to change their mind. If in your situation, no really meant no, you had to make it completely obvious. Right before a potential sexual encounter, many men are close to their most animal-like. If you don't want us to proceed, you have to be firm and leave no doubt that no means no and that the friendly encounter has turned into a potential rape.
Jessica, what's sad is not just that you were raped but that you don't have enough self-respect. It's really easy to find out if your boyfriend wants you only for sex - just say no and see if he still wants you. If you don't want to have sex, tell him! On the basis of your current situation, the headline of the article should have been, "Yes Means No." Stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself and take control of your life.
George W. Bell
graduate student, physiological sciences
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