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By Zach Thomas
Arizona Daily Wildcat
October 25, 1996
"AHHH! My baby's gone to college."Does this sound familiar, Mom?
As October's Family Weekend rolls around yet again, the campus is deluged by throngs of sometimes teary-eyed parents, hoping to see their college-bound kids off safely and facilitate a clean break from home life.
What many parents fail to realize is that their teary eyes, or perhaps just parenting in general, breed embarrassment among their children.
Undeclared freshman Nin Leary knows this well.
Her slightly over-anxious mother decided not to knock on her residence hall door during an impromptu August visit. She burst in on a surprised, naked roommate who was dressing.
American Indian studies graduate student John Troutman's mother also decided to pay him a surprise visit when he was a freshman.
"I was grogged out from studying all night ," he said. "She stopped by my dorm room the next day and thought I'd been drinking. She kept crying and crying."
Both these examples reinforce the idea that college is far different than home. Yet how can students reconcile their desire for independence with their parents' craving for control?
"Try to keep in mind that your child has become an adult," Troutman advises new college parents. "Try to give them space to make decisions."
Finance senior Chris Kennedy agrees with him.
"My parents gave me a lot of guidance but let me loose after I left the house," he says. "They were really good about it."
Leary also advises new parents to hope for the best in their kids and let them know of their trust. Yet she stresses parents should also be prepared for the worst.
"Be open minded, because you know they're going to do everything you did," she said.
Yet all the independence in the world does not give a student the right not to phone home now and again, American literature graduate student Michelle Scott says.
"The once a week rule is a really good one," she advises new students. "We just have a time to call every Sunday."
Aside from regular phone calls, students also seem to love packages with small tidbits of home.
"Care packages are beautiful," says Audra DiPatova, an anthropology sophomore who remembers her parents sending food and newspaper clippings from home.
"Just send stuff you know they'll like," she advises parents.
However, astronomy junior Bruce Wilton urges parents to avoid embarrassing packaging when sending care packages.
"Older people around the dorm's desk made cracks about the hearts and stuff on the package," he says.
Chris Kennedy merely advises parents to send money ... and lots of it.
"College is expensive so they should always be there with financial support," he said optimistically.
So parents, think back to your own college experience - for there are ways of caring for your student without embarrassing them. They will always be your little boy or girl, they're just a little bigger now.
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