By Dorothy Parvaz
Arizona Daily Wildcat
October 31, 1996
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By Dorothy Parvaz
Arizona Daily Wildcat
October 31, 1996
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You know you can expect great things from a book when it opens with a disclaimer like the following: "If you drink, drink responsibly. Don't be an idiot; and don't blame us if you crash your car and puke your guts out."
The heading on the opposite page is pretty much the same, "Don't Be Stupid." Well, if you've paid your $8.95 for this book, the warning may puzzle you, but never mind. Move on. There's drunken fun to be had.
Of course, if you need a book to have fun while imbibing, you're probably in deeper trouble than you thought. All the usual suspects appear in this book. Quarters (bouncing a quarter off the table and into a shot class), FizzBuzz (that old numbers game) , plus a few others that you may have not heard of. One particular gem is "Pookie," where you stand in front of a wall and tosses up a golf or ping-pong ball. You then try to pin it to the wall with your head. If you win, hey, you get to decide which of your friends gets one step closer to alcohol poisoning. If you lose, you end up with a huge knot on your forehead. Having fun yet?
The book is also sprayed with little quotes meant to...what? Who knows. Perhaps the stooge following the directions in this unfortunate little manual will feel somewhat self-righteous with quotes from the likes of Shakespeare or Omar Khayyam tagged at th e end of each section. And in case you're not familiar with the vernacular of the beer-guzzling crowd, the authors have kindly added helpful little tables throughout to keep you up to date. For example, did you know that among the top "Ten More Express ions For Getting Sick" (the follow-up to "Ten Expressions for, uh, Getting Sick") lie the descriptive "blow doughnuts" and "shout at your shoes." Remember, books are educational tools, after all.
Even if you're a happy-go-lucky kind of person who isn't all that critical of anything, you'll still find one huge flaw with beer-drinking books: who the heck feels like reading after a few drinks? Who the heck can? And to make matters worse, there aren't any charts or diagrams. Just lots of text and irrelevant art. But if you don't mind reading about lame drinking games when you're sober (and forgetting about them after a pint or two) then this is the book for you.
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