The Calendar

• Tonight:

  Sure, I know you were all looking forward to this evening's scheduled DIO show, but he's sick and he had to reschedule to April 2. So here's our proposed solution: go see Los Viejos Cucinos and Mid-Life Crisis @ the Airport Lounge. Supposedly they sound like Santana... lose a coupla' letters in Carlos' last name, and you've got the name of the Evil One himself. Should be a heck of a good time... 882-0400

• Friday:

  From the 71 day takeover of Wounded Knee to "Natural Born Killers"... Anyone who has studied modern Native American culture has no doubt encountered the name of Russell Means. He will be discussing his autobiography @ Barnes & Noble, 7325 N. La Cholla. 7:00 - 9:00 PM.

  America's newest heart throbs, The Weird Lovemakers celebrate the release of their new album @ Club Congress. Militant Swedish nationalists Sludge Nation open along with the perpetually upbeat Suicide Lane. Tix are $4. 622-8848. http://www.hotcong.com/

• Saturday:

  Cafe Society bites back during The Drunken Word Poets' bi-weekly "Cheap Truth Highball Hour." Admission is free, and they promise wacky giveaways, neat stuff, and we assume, poetry that doesn't suck. 8:00 PM @ Club Congress.

  Comedy Corner. It's mere mention is enough to inspire terror in small, Pacific-island villages. The evening's madcap antics should include sketch comedy, stand-up, and improv, among other things. 8:00 PM @ The Cellar in the Student Union. http://w3.arizona.edu/~uab/cc.html. This is an all-ages event.

• Next Week:

  Want to be forever immortalized as the dork next to Kevin Costner in his latest futuristic, science-fiction epic? They need extras who are "thin or 'different' looking, willing to shave their heads, or able to ride horses." If you find that you fit into one or more of these categories, signups are Tuesday through Saturday @ The Hampton Inn on W. Grant (it's near the Roadway Inn), 10:00 AM - 5:00 PM. Bring a photo and enter through the back by the pool.