TV Aliens Just Got Scarier

That's because they weren't puppets. They were aliens, trans-dimensional beings sent from another universe to study human behavior - or at least that's the case with "Lost on Earth." They just look like ordinary puppets, apparently to better infiltrate the world's media networks. The sitcom tells the tragic story of love gone wrong, and of a hard-working young broadcaster banished to the vast wasteland of "The Puppet News," because of his tragic love for the station manager's daughter.

It's a good thing the puppets/aliens are on his side, because he has a lot to learn about workplace relationships, alien cultures, and the harsh realities of intra-office competition. Our hero, David Rudy (Tim Conlon) gets the shock of his life when the puppets secretly reveal they are a group of bitter, dysfunctional aliens who come from an unpronounceable, distant planet.

"Lost on Earth" presses right past the believability issue we encountered even in 80s shows like "Alf." The government isn't looking for these aliens, and the Ockmonics never come knocking. They might as well be his friends, for all the trouble they cause him. I mean, you'd think the lack of puppeteers would make someone suspicious, but it's just not an issue.

What is relevant to "Lost on Earth" is Rudy's lovelife. He tries hard, but he's just not smooth. As a result of his social awkwardness, he constantly fights to redeem himself in the eyes of his woman, Shery (Stacy Galina), and to regain her from the clutches of the evil newsman. Of course, a sexy, young female puppet has her boogly eyes set on him, too.

The show is a commentary on modern life in America. We spend most of our waking hours at work, and when we're away from our jobs we think about work. Are we not all aliens from another dimension when we enter our places of employment? Are we not all puppets of the great, unseen puppeteer we call Fate?

"Really David's a schizophrenic, a deviant sociopath, who's just imagining the puppets to compensate for the stress of the workplace," said media-theorist E. A. Parker in a one phone conversation from the Noam Chomsky Institute of Media Studies in Pueblo, Colorado. "Read from a Marxist perspective, 'Lost on Earth' is about employee abuse. The boss and his daughter, the oppressors and symbols of the bourgeoisie, have degraded the young hero to the point where he's cracked."

But I see other, more sinister forces at work behind "Lost on Earth." Jessica Rabbit prepared us for the concept of human/ cartoon relationships, and Alf had a crush on Lynn, but the issue of human/ alien sex has never come up. The show lays it on hot and heavy, and makes it seem entirely possible that David and Shery could hook up sometime later this season. One of the other aliens also has a stated mission to impregnate a human female.

Yes, it is possible to love an alien, or at least that's what the USA Network, and their co-conspirators, the U.S. Government, want us to believe. The government knows that aliens exist. The Man is just getting ready to reveal their presence. Desensitization through innocuous pop-culture programming is just part of their plan.

Don't believe me? Here's your assignment: pay attention to all the alien references in popular culture, all the stickers, movies, TV shows, T-shirts, and posters. What do they all mean? The truth is out there ...