Eat my peanuts

Ian Meyer Arizona Daily Wildcat That's me hawking peanuts at the alumni baseball game. I'm happy because I think I am going to prove my hypothesis on human nature. I was wrong.

Through the years, I thought there were certain truths I could always count on. I would always like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I would always be short. The Red Wings would always break my heart. And people would always treat wait staff and servers like trash, because people are inherently rude.

I, however, no longer know what is the truth.

On Sunday, I went to test my hypothesis that when you wait on people, they forget that you are a person and treat you like dirt - I became a peanut and popcorn hawker at the alumni baseball game.

What other job is there that begs people to treat you like shit and tells them to take advantage of you?

I arranged the experiment with Annie Shannon, office supervisor for student concessions.

Originally, I was going to sell at the men's basketball games, but we agreed that more fun would be had by all at the alumni baseball game. I was going to be one of the three hawkers at the game, working along with Pete Dufek, who has been hawking for 10 years, and his son, David, who just started this year.

So far, so good. I would go sell at the baseball game, be my usual loud self, and have people treat me poorly. This was a plan I could make work.

How could I be so wrong? The best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray, but not my plans! My plans are infallible; how could people treat me courteously?

My objective was to be loud, annoying and stupid. These are things I can do.

My yell was "peanuts, popcorn, red vines." Then I would try non-stop to convince people that they had to buy from me because it wasn't baseball without sugar and peanuts, etc.

I was sure that no one would buy from me and that they would tell me where I could go with my peanuts and popcorn.

My first sale, to Tucsonan Alex Rodarte, told me that he just wanted to go to a game and that he bought from me because it's just not baseball without peanuts. He was real amiable; maybe it was just a fluke. Hopefully, as the day went on, the people would get nastier.

But no, everyone else was kind at the game also. I spoke with Pete Dufek about the niceness quotient, thinking that maybe the inclement weather was affecting the people's better sense of judgment.

Pete told me that that was the norm: people are friendly to the hawkers at the games. The crowds do change with the game being played, though. For example, the older spectators at the basketball games tend to tip better and are, overall, more pleasant. Those sitting in the visitors' sections at football games are surprisingly congenial, especially when their team is winning.

The only 'trouble' crowds are the student section at the football games, Pete told me. Generally, the students are good, but at the football games they tend to steal and get drunk and rowdy.

A saving grace: there is a group of people who fit into my hypothesis. I knew I could always trust the students at the university to do the right thing.

Jeremy Pepper is a philosophy senior. His column, "Dash of Pepper," appears every other Thursday.

By Jeremy Pepper
Arizona Daily Wildcat
February 13, 1997