Bono baptism

Courtesy of www.MTV.com Arizona Daily Wildcat U2 in their lates video "Discotheque"

It's not just you that I worry about, it's your younger siblings. It's been nearly four years. A whole new generation of music listeners has had their tastes formed by a melange of dull movie soundtracks, bad R&B, stupid retropunk bullshit and noise.

Help us U2, you're our only hope. These guys brought meaning to new wave. The only hip left-wing guys of the 1980s, they wrapped politics up in the slickest rock'n'roll this side of Supertramp. They made political rock mainstream again. These guys shepher ded the whole alterno-rock thing into the mainstream. They were dark and angst ridden and melodic. They were defining. Remember. For 10 years. Yes, you cool kids, these are the guys to hate. Perhaps that's why they have such a special place in my heart.

And they've set their sights on techno. Uh-oh. If you listen, you can hear the aging ravers crying, "How will there ever be enough ecstasy to go around if everybody comes to our party." Everybody's invited.

Nobody else could save society from the doldrums. There were contenders.

Coulda been Depeche Mode. If only Dave Gahan hadn't cracked up and tried to be Michael Hutchence crossed with Jim Morrison.

Coulda been R.E.M. Don't get me wrong, these guys still write a great song and they're very consistent, but they've been using the same guitar fill for 20 years.

Coulda been The Cure, but Robert Smith hasn't used the same personnel twice in ten years. They're disqualified. See, that's the beauty, these four guys growing up together, growing old together. They're kismet. It's just so damn positive.

The album will be number one. I had to go to three record stores just to find the single, "Discotheque."

I'm glad. I hope they make more money than God has. Someone's got to save our little brothers and sisters from Bush and No Doubt. Before they start to breed. What the world needs now is a unifying sound for you, me, him, everybody. They know it, I know it , Island Records knows it. We need peace in our time, baby. I'll be there March 4 like I was there July 6, 1993. With bells on. And me and an army of pop-kids are going to be dancing in front of our mirrors.

Me and my army of pop-kids are going to say, "Hey, it's all right to like what other people like."

Lots of people like the Beatles or Beethoven. Or Bach. All I am saying is give U2 a chance. Let them into your heart.

If not for your sake, then for the sake of the future.

Move over Billy, Bono's back.