By Jill Dellamalva
Arizona Daily Wildcat
February 27, 1998

Sex, lies ... and grade-school

Mary Kay Letourneau. If you haven't heard of her by now, you've probably been living in a dark cave since last August, when this 35-year-old Seattle grade-school teacher pleaded guilty to having an affair with her 13-year-old student. Not only did she have a relationship with this "kid," but she also went on to have his baby. Her picture has been smeared across every major newspaper and news magazine in the country.

That's why I'm ticked off.

Talk about disgusting, huh? I mean, this lady has sex with someone 22 years younger than herself - he could have been her son. Should we get out the noose to hang her? She was supposed to be someone the community could trust. Should we beat her senseless with a stick? She betrayed her husband and four children when she had the affair, shattering her family. Should we send her to the electric chair?

No, this column isn't about capital punishment. Need another clue? Try answering a few questions for me, then.

Have you ever read the book Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov? You know, the one in which the middle-aged narrator, Humbert Humbert, has an obsession and an affair with his pre-teen love interest. America was captivated with this book when it hit store shelves in 1958, after many legal troubles due to its content. And today America still seems to be captivated by the story. Not too long ago, a movie remake of the book cast Jeremy Irons as Humbert Humbert and Melanie Griffith as Lolita's mother. Pretty well-known actors in this movie, don't you think? What could they have been thinking of? Should we condemn them, too?

Last I heard, "Lolita," the film, had not come out in the United States, despite much publicity. According to the "Lolita" webpage, available worldwide (of course), the girl chosen for the staring role was a Malibu High sophomore selected from 2,500 other girls trying for the part. Now, who really has the obsession?

Still confused? Answer question number two for me, then: How many people betray the trust of their communities every day? In an age when it's an issue whether or not to protect the privacy of previously-convicted child molesters from their next-door neighbors, the extreme disgust the public has placed on Letourneau surprises me. As teenagers, we sat in our high school auditoriums listening to a drunk driver tell stories about how he or she killed a family of four after having too much to drink. Tears came to our eyes. We felt sorry for the poor speaker. As young adults, we watch people like O.J. get off the hook. It's ironic, isn't it?

If you still have no clue what I'm talking about, answer yet another question: How many families in the United States break up each year because a parent has an affair? I'll bet you can't even count that high.

So do you still think we should hang Letourneau? Beat her? Electrocute her? If so, why? I don't consider myself a feminist, but I have to look at this story from that point of view. If the roles were reversed - if Letourneau was a male teacher having an affair with a 13-year-old girl - what would you think?

In high school, I knew of an instance in which a male guidance counselor was accused of having some sort of relationship with a female student. The case went to court, but the publicity was not tremendous. Had I not walked the very hallways of the school it occurred in, I probably would never have been aware of the scandal.

Perhaps we're all just embarrassed by our own values. We really love Letourneau's story. It intrigues us (especially when she was recently released from jail, and found with the 13-year-old again in a car, possibly planning to flee the country.) It would make a great novel, don't you think? I'll bet that would sell - Nabokov had a great idea.

We really don't care that she broke up her family and probably injured this boy more than we could imagine. We don't care that she let down her community. People do this every day. What intrigues us about her, then?

If "Lolita" ever does come out in the U.S., and you pay your $7 to see it, maybe you can tell me.

One final question: Do you know what a scapegoat is?

Jill Dellamalva is a junior majoring in creative writing and journalism. Her column, "Some Might Say," appears every other Friday.