By James Casey
Arizona Daily Wildcat
March 5, 1998

Learn the right moves in a virtual Vegas

Yahoo! has some funny sites under its "What's Cool" listing. Everything from procrastination to wallet-content pages. It's there that you'll find a link to the "Fabulous Bud E. Luv Homepage" (www.budeluv.com).

At this site you travel to a virtual Las Vegas, meaning that you can do more or less the same things as you can in the real Vegas. You can buy drinks, listen to cheesy lounge music, gamble for more credit, hit on lounge cats and kittens and generally engulf yourself in the random tackiness that is the nation's center of trash.

When you enter the main page (The Luv Lounge) you are given several options and a status bar appears with your credentials (your account balance, number of drinks ordered and types of advice that the Budster has given you). These credentials give you more chances for success in attracting the virtual victims. The more money and drinks you have, the more desirable creatures you'll have hanging off of your arm. The fashion tips will increase your pulling power tenfold.

So who is Bud E. Luv then?

Bud E. Luv is an imaginary name given to a very real Californian lounge singer. (Lounge singers? Aren't they cool after "Swingers"? Yes, and this one is the coolest of all.) Inside it states that "he's not having a perfect hair day, he's having a perfect hair decade." Cool as hell. The man also gives you some reasons why "babes go bonkers for the Budster." This list includes moves (the "TV trot", the "lateral glide" and the "entrance gait."), sensitivity, wardrobe and his numerous talents. Everything you do on this site is "watched" by the Budster and he'll randomly comment on your progress as you go along.

When you enter the Luv Lounge you usually proceed to the casino area to try and win virtual dollars. These will enable you to purchase drinks for yourself and others. Nobody likes a tightwad so you best get cracking. The casino has two card games, poker and blackjack. Once money is accumulated, one proceeds to the bar to purchase booze (vodka martini with a twist is the players' drink). You have the option to buy one drink, two drinks or the whole house a round. We all know how much everyone loves the guy/girl who rings the little bar bell causing him/her to shell out hundreds of dollars to fuel our alcoholic urges.

After the ritual saucing the player is free to request a song. All cheese coated lounge classics are here for your enjoyment. Tom Jones tunes, the "Love Boat" theme song, "Just a Gigolo" and more are all sung by Mr. Luv himself.

Once the mood is set, go and "meet the babes." There are six choices of men and women for you to prey on in this room. Each has his/her personal traits and each has a selection of pickup lines that you can try. If you choose wisely, you'll have the lounge guy/girl of your dreams in the sack for the evening. Oddly enough, I failed miserably when trying my luck. The site must have been malfunctioning.