Arizona Daily Wildcat April 2, 1998
Something to smile about
Being foreign in America is a peculiar thing. Being British is even worse. Stereotypes are constantly applied to me, especially because I have funny teeth. Well, thanks to a Web site I found, at least I know I'm not dentally alone.
Gap-toothed.com is an extremely humorous site based on the phenomenon of diastematic people, or the David Lettermans, Madonnas and Vanessa Paradises of the world.
When you enter the main page, the mission statement of the site beams and shouts for all "funny-toothed" victims of the world.
Say it aloud: being gap-toothed is a social and cultural benefit, rather than a curse. Here Gap-toothed.com praises the work of diastematics who best represent the positive image of the gap-toothed lifestyle, and aims to foster discussion on how to push the cause.
The page takes a somewhat serious stance on such a light-and-laughable topic. There are several pages within the main page such as "Strictly Diastematic - what is gap-toothed culture all about?" "Gap Gallery" and "Whose Gap is it?"
After a quick browse you'll wish that you had odd teeth. Why? Cause it's cool.
The Gap Gallery has many pictures of famous celebrities with gaps edited in. At the bottom of each photo is a percentage detailing the "truth factor" of said celebrity having diastema. Mohammed Ali is there with a 70 percent rating and a somewhat larger gap than before. Madonna shows up with 90 percent, and others, such as Conan O'Brien, Barney, Tyra Banks, Jenny McCarthy (100 percent) and Sharon Stone are all despicted. Jenny McCarthy's doctored picture has a gap that appears to be a centimeter across, "one of the largest, widest diastemas ever to appear without apology on MTV."
Guess the Gap, a competition which allows one to win a free "Gap-toothed" T-shirt, is one of the site's highlights. This week's mysterious gap is Ernest Borgnine, who starred in "Air Wolf" and won an Oscar in 1955 for his portrayal of a lonely bachelor in "Marty."
The "G-List," a listing of everybody-who's-anybody with a gap, is very interesting. Eddie Murphy, Maya Angelou, Woody Harrelson, Ed Bradley, James Brown and Howdy Doody all come up along with many other ex-presidents, writers, musicians, actors and fictional characters. Gap-toothers from around the world are also invited to submit their names and join the elite club.
Overall, Gap-toothed.com is a downright funny page that looks at the lighter side of dentistry and deformation. What is surprising is that there are so few British listings although we have an extremely high ratio of bad teeth to normal ones. Start getting jealous, Marsha Brady, and break out the chisel - it's avant garde to be gapped.