By Erin Kirsten Stein
Arizona Daily Wildcat
November 21, 1997

Hail Mary

Arizona Daily Wildcat Erin Kirsten Stein

A friend of mine spent the past summer in Europe.

When she came back, she said Mary was everywhere.

Mary as in the Holy Virgin Mary, Mother of God. You know, with all the capital letters.

The attention from the Aug. 25, 1997 Newsweek article stirred some interest in the states, but my friend said, in Europe, it's Mary Mania.

It seems a group of Marymeisters want to elevate the Virgin's status officially.

The Vox Populi Mariae Mediatrix group wants the pope to decree that Mary is "Co-Redemptrix, Mediatrix of All Graces and Advocate for the People of God."

Basically, they want more words capitalized.

The pope, supposedly, is a Mary-lover and inclined to look favorably upon this request. A lot of people are signing petitions for it; the latest number I could find put it around 4.5 million signatures. The pope is getting a reported 100,000 signatures per day.

Mother Theresa signed a petition before she died. Hundreds of bishops and lots of cardinals have signed as well; this stuff isn't just loonies on the fringe.

See, the pope has this power of "papal infallibility" to proclaim whatever the hell he wants as far as spiritual matters go.

The pope does not use this power lightly. In fact the last time was in 1950, when he declared that Mary was indeed taken up to heaven body and soul.

Well, duh.

So far, there are four Marian dogmas. First, her Divine Maternity was declared in 431.

Next, her Perpetual Virginity in 649. The Madonna album, I mean, the Immaculate Conception in 1854 was third and the Bodily Assumption in 1950 was the fourth.

OK, so what's this new one all about?

Well, I'm not really sure. A lot of people aren't really sure.

But it goes something like this:

Co-Redemptrix would mean she and Jesus are partners in crime, I mean, salvation.

Not that she's exactly on the same level as Jesus, but close. I don't know. No one on the Internet could agree.

The Mediatrix part is easier. To get to Jesus you have to go through his mother. Wipe your feet at the door.

As the Newsweek article put it, "all graces that flow from the suffering and death of Jesus Christ are granted only through Mary's intercession with her son, and that all prayers and petitions from the faithful on earth must likewise flow through Mary, who then brings them to the attention of Jesus."

So, she's the divine secretary.

The camps are across the river as far as scripture goes. Some say Mary's new title doesn't conflict with scripture at all, she isn't mentioned very often anyway.

Others say yes it does conflict with scripture, read your Bible!

"There is one God and one mediator between God and man, Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 2:5). Does that mean Jesus is the mediator or Jesus is the man?

Some Mary supporters say she already is the Mediatrix and therefore, this really isn't "new" dogma being proposed.

Have you heard about all the Mary sightings? Take a closer look at your fishsticks.

Mary has appeared on office buildings, subway station walls, bishop's mantles, even floating in the air. And, of course, to little children.

I personally saw her in a shoe store in Michigan.

The Catholic church has actually officially recognized some of these apparitions, although not the recent ones.

Then there are the hundreds of people channeling Mary and her message. Books are being written all the time. I think she has her own section in the bookstore by now.

What is Mary's message?

Shape up people! The world is crashing down around you!

That's right, she comes prophesying doom for us scalawags.

Mary wants us to pray and to be good little humans or the destruction of the earth will proceed as planned.

Notice all the earthquakes and hurricanes killing people and destroying trailer homes?

They're not a coincidence, says Mary. At least, say authors channeling Mary.

Supporters of the Marian movement say that adopting the new dogma as truth will help to stave off our impending doom.

A problem is the opposition from other Christian religions. Several have spoken against this emphasis on Mary, saying it diminishes the worship of Jesus. He's the big cheese, they say, not his mom.

Others, however, think this will unify Christian religions into one universal religion. Yeah, right. Maybe when Oscar the Grouch is canonized and becomes a saint.

The pope knows he is losing Catholics every day, and something must be done to restore faith in his religion.

Maybe the new Mary will be his poster girl, maybe not.

But next time you say amen, you might want to address Mary first and ask to be connected to God on that big switchboard in the sky.

Erin Kirsten Stein is a senior majoring in creative writing, journalism and general fine arts studies.