By Ezekiel Buchheit
Arizona Daily Wildcat
December 4, 1997

Legalize: No withdrawals, overdoses from marijuana

Arizona Daily Wildcat Ezekiel Buchheit

Now I have been asked to write in favor of legalization of marijuana, which really isn't such a hard thing to do. One, because I can think of plenty of good reasons for it, and two, I am already stoned. I felt that the best course of action would be simply to make a list of perfectly good explanations for legal pot, which could easily double as excuses while dealing with cops! Go ahead try it, I ain't going to jail. Read these as factual evidence, or simply a way to justify your addictions to friends and loved ones. Doesn't matter to me, I still get paid the same.

The Abridged Dictionary of Reasons Why Marijuana Should Not Be Illegal:

1. You would have to make a conscious effort to overdose on pot. The amount of weed one would have to smoke in a hour to kill themselves is some ludicrous amount along the lines of your body weight. You are just not going to do it. You will pass out and wake up with one bitch of a headache long before you ever die.

2. Ever have an annoying bout with a cold, or nausea, glaucoma, perhaps cyctic fibrosis? Man, that sucks. In situations such as these, marijuana can help relieve symptoms. Also works as a great cure for such eating disorders as anorexia and bulimia.

3. It's a mental addiction, not a physical one. Nicotine is a physical addiction, meaning that your body becomes dependent upon the drug to function normally. Smoking marijuana is in some fashions (please now, no angry letters) like drinking milk immediately before bed. Do this for about a month and then quit. You will find that it will be difficult to fall asleep at first, but with time you'll get over it.

I have read or heard somewhere that alcohol is the only drug in which you can actually die from withdrawals. I am not exactly sure if this is true (heroin?), but I do know that you could never die from marijuana withdrawals because there aren't any. Just maybe some boredom.

4. Now I can't prove this, but I believe that many of history's greatest musicians were weed smokers. Just look at this list and decide for yourself. Led Zeppelin, The Grateful Dead, Cypress Hill (Big stretch on this one), The Doors, Beethoven, Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, Sheryl Crow, Pantera and Blues Traveler. This is an abbreviated list just showing you a taste of the musical variety.

5. Worried about lung cancer? Don't smoke it. Marijuana can be baked, consumed, drunk, and applied to the blood flow in many different fashions. Very versatile.

OK, I'm done now. I have to keep this to 450 words, so no clever ending. Blame the editor.

Ezekiel Buchheit is a freshman majoring in English.