Of laughs and office hours

Arizona Daily Wildcat

All of the stand-up comedians, sitcom writers and other assorted doctors of laughter had one experience in common. They learned that life in the real world is tough. They cautioned all that there will likely be moments where they go out on stage, perform and bomb. There will be times, where no matter how much they may try, they won't be able to get a laugh.

Some days later, I overheard a conversation between a young woman and her graduate teaching assistant. From what I could tell, the two were discussing English 102. The student was telling her teacher some story about the tough week she had endured and her effort in the class. This student pleaded and said she thought she deserved an 'A' because she had been trying so hard as of late. The teaching assistant replied that the student had been averaging a 'D.'

This pleading student was doing something that I have done in the past. She was trying to negotiate for a better grade on the basis of effort.

Remembering the tales of professionals who spoke at SICK VII, something became clear. After graduation, there will be no "office hours" to ask for a reconsideration of my effort. It will no longer be what is put in, but what is produced. In a capitalist society and a global economy, that's all your superiors will consider when they evaluate you.

When you get in to the real world, you won't be able to negotiate in office hours for a big laugh from the audience, should you be a stand-up comic. So, don't get in the habit now.

More specifically just because you try at something doesn't earn you the right to receive high accolades for it. If this were the case, then everyone who took the stage at "open mike" night would be offered their own sitcom. Just think of what that would do to Must See TV.

Similarly, when a pitcher gives full control of a curve-ball over to the force known as Mr. Inertia, he sends it hurling towards a leather mitt, hoping that it passes through some imaginary box and doesn't get hurled back his direction. He isn't able to negotiate with a ball and plead, "I did a lot of work this off-season, so this time could you please break for me?"

As NATO soldiers in the Balkans prepare for eminent ground war, in which they'll try to outmaneuver their Serbian counterparts, both sides know they're not going to be able to pause and plead with their counterparts, saying that they had trained really hard and hence are entitled to survive this conflict.

When N'SYNC comes out with their new album of sizzling hits and I careen like a banshee down to Zips to reserve my copy, it will not be because their front man went on television and made a plea to buy his album, because they had spent a lot of time in the studio. It will be because I know that N'SYNC puts out quality music that transcends all musical fads.

Well, perhaps that was a bad example.

The truth is that in the real world, effort doesn't count in anyone's opinion except your own. Now, I will grant you that as a general rule, the more you put in to something, the better results you will typically get. So, don't let this article inspire an onslaught of apathy. Effort and results do not always have a cause-and-effect relationship. More importantly, whatever those results are, they cannot be changed through the art of persuasion once you're beyond college. So, don't get in the habit of changing them now by going to office hours.

The truth is that grades, while important, are not as important as the education they should represent. If you find that your grades are not to your liking then you should realize that your education is not to your professor's liking. Rather than solve a problem by changing the minds of your teachers, change the quality of your work and let your teachers change their minds on their own. For if you don't get in that habit now, the real world may shock you in the form of an audience that doesn't always laugh at all your jokes.