Snores of the silver screen

Wildcat File Photo Arizona Summer Wildcat Tony Carnevale

Some of the movies that I see are good, but most are pretty bad.

It's fun to see a good movie, but it is in many ways a lot more fun to see a bad one.

Here are a few of the worse flicks I've seen recently for your reading, and viewing, enjoyment.

The Rage: Carrie 2

I loved the first "Carrie," because it pretty much paralleled my high-school experience.

I, too, was a sad-looking girl, uncomfortable with menstruation and imbued with telekinetic abilities.

So I was eagerly anticipating this one, even though I thought it was a little weird that it was called "The Rage: Carrie 2" and not "Carrie 2: The Rage."

Sadly, it didn't deserve to include any words other than "Carrie" in its title, since it wanted so badly to be the first movie that it included fairly extensive footage of the original.

That's just sad.

Fast, Cheap, and Out of Control

I can sit through a pretty boring movie. Hell, I watched "Eraserhead" twice. But I had to leave this one unfinished.

When it starts, you're thinking, "Dude, this little flick profiles four intelligent and wacky people, including a naked mole-rat specialist. That's pretty cool."

An hour later, you realize that actually being a naked mole-rat specialist would be more captivating than this slug-paced yawnfest that fails to reveal anything particularly interesting about its subjects and strives desperately to link their stories together in the most contrived way possible.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

The people who bought life-size Darth Maul light sabers and whined that Jar Jar Binks ruined this bloated commercial have allowed themselves to be distracted from the fact that there was nothing worth ruining in the first place.

"Oh, we know the story sucked," they say, "but it'll get better in Episode 2."

Well, watching a movie for the sole reason that it might lead up to a good story seems like a bit of a waste of $7.50.

In the film's defense, if any real aliens speak English, they probably have a bit of an accent, too.

eXistenZ

This has to be the single worst movie I've ever seen in my life. Allegra, a video-game designer of the future who happens to be named after allergy medication, creates a virtual-reality world like Star Trek's Holodeck gone bad.

Five minutes before the end, we discover that what we thought was reality - to wit, that Allegra designed the game - was actually part of the game. Ooh, creepy.

I totally didn't see that ending driving up Broadway in a stretch limo.

First Love, Last Rites

I never wanted to see Giovanni Ribisi's penis. If I'd had the choice, I never would have seen Giovanni Ribisi's penis.

Then I saw this movie, and, by extension, Giovanni Ribisi's penis.

It was downhill from there, if that's possible.

Tony Carnevale is a media arts senior.