Bigger, Longer & Uncut: South Park movie breaks every barrier in sight

Associated Press Arizona Summer Wildcat "South Park: Bigger, Louder, & Uncut" opened at the box office this weekend as the No. 4 movie in the country, raking in more than $14 million. The film has already grossed $23 million since its release a week ago.

Picture Saddam Hussein and Satan getting down and dirty in a passionate love affair.

Then imagine African American soldiers tied to tanks as human armor in operation "Human Shield" in the great U.S.-Canadian war.

Then think of an entire five-minute song composed of flatulence and the phrase "Uncle F**ker."

Get through all that, and you still won't have a clue as to the extent of the low-brow humor employed by directors Matt Stone and Trey Parker in "South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut."

Whereas the two creators of the television series by the same name have had to restrain themselves on Comedy Central, on the big screen they seem to have looked for every social moray available and farted on it.

And it's hilarious.

Granted, I always thought Beavis and Butthead were comic geniuses, but Parker and Stone are unique in the fact that they embrace the lack of class in their movie.

This movie is a cartoon nightmare for Rush Limbaugh, Pat Buchanan and every other conservative relic roaming the land of morality.

But believe it or not, there is more to the movie than a musical featuring lewd language and the depiction of heaven as a harem of naked women with huge, perky breasts.

The story revolves around a fictional movie dependent on childish humor and fart jokes, ala "South Park," and the chaos it causes in a conservative small town community.

After the children of South Park, Colorado, see the Terrence and Phillip production "Asses of Fire," they adapt the foul language into their own vocabularies and proceed to amaze the adults of their little hick town with their new-found expressions. (Eric Cartman, the fat little loudmouth from the television series, asking his teacher if he "would like suck my balls," is one of the cleaner examples.)

As opposed to teaching their kids that cussing is wrong and blah blah blah, the parents of South Park decide to form a nation-wide campaign to destroy Canada. Why? Because that's where "Asses of Fire" creators and stars Terrence and Philip are from.

The story goes on from there, but among the crude jokes and homosexual innuendo there is a fairly significant point being made.

Parker's 1997 comic movie "Orgazmo," about a Mormon boy named Tom Hung and the L.A. pornography industry, was lumped in with such masterpieces as "Whore" and "Emmanuelle 2" when it received an NC-17 rating, effectively killing the film's chances of commercial success because many theaters tend to shy away from showing NC-17 pictures.

This movie is revenge incarnate.

Parker and Stone's story line in "South Park" can be taken as a direct response to their critics by showing them how foolish they look when they blame America's social problems on something so flippant as a cartoon.

Far from being First Amendment freedom fighters (La Resistance), Parker and Stone still attempt to argue against the popular trend that has the mass media getting blamed for America's social ills.

Then again, that could be a thinly-veiled excuse for Parker and Stone to make a cartoon featuring a mountain-sized clitoris and Saddam playing with a dildo.

Whatever the social implications, there is one thing that should be remembered about this movie.

Do not take your children.

When I saw the movie, there was exactly one child in a completely packed house. Twenty minutes into the movie, that child was being unhappily dragged out by an obviously disgruntled father.

So, if you are looking for a good family movie, go see "Tarzan" or "Wild Wild West." They may lack in plot, but at least they're completely unoriginal and devoid of any artistic value.

But if you just want to sit in an air conditioned theater for 90 minutes and laugh at some poorly drawn cartoon characters telling each other to go f**k themselves, then "South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut" is as good choice as any.

Oh, and as a little game, see if you can spot Jesus and Mr. Hankey (The Christmas Poo). Rumor has it they makes cameo appearances somewhere along the way.