Eat the Burritos

Arizona Summer Wildcat

Actually, my life at the University of Arizona is pretty unique.

Growing up in a sheltered L.A. suburb, I had no idea that life would be so different in Tucson.

But the University of Arizona is also pretty sheltered. It's a community all to itself, complete with always-active dorms, greeks and cheap Mexican eateries that cook phenomenal breakfast burritos at 3 a.m.

And life gets strange sometimes.

There will be flooded streets, lightning shows and thunder, that sounds like 25 bowling balls dropped through your roof.

You'll find the Hillel people or Wildcats for Christ missionaries begging you to come to their meetings. My condolences if you go. I'll see you in a few years when the meeting ends.

On the lighter side of things, people in your dorm will start screaming at one another in the middle of the night. Sometimes, you'll see drunks holding pissing contests off a balcony. Another night, you'll listen as a girl yells at her boyfriend after he was found in bed with her best friend.

Or the morning before winter break, you and your roommate will press your ears against the dorm room wall, listening to a girl leave 15 threatening messages on your neighbor's answering machine, asking if he's afraid that his stuff is at her apartment.

Pretty exciting stuff, eh? Well, not really, but sometimes you look for more thrills than watching Jerry Springer and playing drinking games to the tune of "Roxanne."

Boredom was setting in during my freshman year, and allowing my life to revolve around the 11 a.m. airing of Jenny Jones, seemed inhumane. I got sick of dull classes, so I dove into work, spending 12 hours a day at the Arizona Daily Wildcat.

This newspaper saved me. It gave me a reason to get up in the morning.

I can see why the UA freshman retention rates are so low. It's not because the classes are that hard. Most aren't. In fact, when it comes to general education courses, any idiot can get a decent grade.

The retention rates are so low because people get bored. Don't forget -Øthis is Tucson. It doesn't offer all that much in the way of extracurricular activities, unless you enjoy watching hicks scratch themselves as they walk down the street.

So, my only advice to avoid the boredom factor, comes through these simple rules. I'm not saying they will stop you from seeking another university, but hopefully, you'll find some salvation in a couple of the following guidelines:

1. Drink...a lot of water.

2. Get a job. It provides relief from the boring routine of going to class and going home everyday. Hell, come apply at the Wildcat. We can always use extra help.

3. Don't think too much. It starts to hurt after a while and distracts you from more important things.

4. Have way too much fun.