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Too much PC, not enough bluntness

By Ezekiel Buchheit
Arizona Daily Wildcat
October 5, 1998
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Arizona Daily Wildcat

Ezekiel Buchheit

In my never-ending quest to bring you, the reading public, the latest information on life-relevant events, defined as anything I can squeeze an 800 word article out of, I bring you Part One of what is to be a continuous exploration of Idiots In Power.

So let's begin. Ahem! Kill all the blind people.

OK, poll time. How many people out there did I just seriously piss off? How many of you were ready to sit down and write some nasty letter to the editor demanding the resignation of that bigoted-piece-of-white-trash Ezekiel, who stepped over the line with such a comment? How many of you willing to do those things had a date last Saturday night?

I remember a time when America was based on a couple little pieces of paper that listed various freedoms and other such cool things that made us such a cool country. Things like "Go ahead, have as many guns as you want," "Worship your god your way," "If you don't want to say you did it, don't say anything," and "Hey, speak your mind. Screw the government, death to dandelions, and nuke the gay whales for Christ."

Concentrating mainly on that last one, I remember when we really could say anything we want. Way back before the attack of The Hyper Sensitive People.

In the past we had the right to say what we wanted when we wanted, and everyone else had the right to ignore you. And then came the first wave of Hyper Sensitive People, probably a bunch of fat, lonely broads, who came in with their political correctness and decided it was time to save the world by never allowing anyone to ever call another human being fat, a retard or a faggot again and labeling anyone who ever does as ignorant.

Ignorant is a powerful word. If anyone disagrees with you, simply label them as ignorant, or some kind of bigot, and instead of addressing the real issue, or discussing something like an intelligent human being, you instantly have a scapegoat.

"This person disagrees with me because he is ignorant and bigoted. He probably has a collection of kiddie porn at home."

Who needs evidence, just saying that is enough to get the whole country in a hissy fit, on your side and against the "ignorant fool." It's the '90's witch hunt.

These Hyper Sensitive People have always been here, but recently, and here is where the real problem lies, people have been listening. And not just listening, but encouraging and justifying these peoples' rants.

"I was emotionally wounded," is the '90's epidemic. We cradle these idiots and let them breed. [Picture]

"Did that bad man say something you don't like? Awww! Mommy will kiss it and make it better, and then we'll sue the fuck out of him for everything he's got."

Ads are being pulled from magazines because the White House doesn't like them. In some inbred southern city, swearing in public was recently banned and is punishable by a fine. Authors of comic strips in the newspaper that point out that blind people are in fact blind, and therefore in the need of some type of guidance animal are written up and punished for such atrocious acts of thought.

The Hyper Sensitive People are winning the battle.

This article will be continued next week because I really need more space to speak the truth. So to all the people out there who can read an article in its entirety and not take things out context, I encourage you to exercise you freedom of insult without care or responsibility at least one time a day for the rest of the week.

Utter un-PC phrases, call someone - gulp - fat, go look in the mirror, and I don't care what race, gender, handicap or sexual alliance you belong to, scream "God damn it! This is my country and I'm not going to let a bunch of whiny, fat-assed, inbred, lonely PC mofos take away my God-given right to say rude things!"

And then put on a 2 Live Crew album and blast it out your window.

Ezekiel Buchheit is a former UA freshman "here to share news from that big scary place in the outside world we call reality," and he can be reached via e-mail at His column will appear every Friday.