Looking for explanations

Wildcat File Photo Arizona Daily Wildcat Christina M. Okeson

A week ago a gay man went alone to a college bar in Wyoming. When the offer for a date came from two straight boys, the man accepted. Eighteen hours later, bicyclists mistook his body - burned, beaten, barefoot and crucified on a split rail fence - for a scarecrow.

Imagine.

In Wyoming, where cottonwood trees, cattle and empty spaces outnumber people, and incredible Yellowstone National Park stands as a mecca to human beings' need to reconnect with nature, it seems like there would be enough room for all. The state motto, "equal rights," reflects the 1869 decision - the first in this nation - that gave women the right to vote. In the minuscule population of half a million people, statistically as many as 50,000 of Wyoming's people will be gay or lesbian.

Pistol whipped burned demeaned inoperable skull fracture 18 hours in freezing temperatures passing from unconsciousness to coma to death.

Police have said the accused, from 18 to 22 years old, were motivated by robbery. The boys stole Matthew Shepard's shoes and wallet. And subliminally, the victim is responsible: He flirted with the boys. He was openly gay and already a victim of two beatings. What else can be expected when he refused to hide his sexual orientation?

Matthew Shepard. His friends probably called him Matt.

It has been a week of schizophrenia-mania. Highs of shared, outraged community; lows of breaking down unexpectedly while trying to complete an inane homework assignment. A fantasy of flying to Wyoming to sit by tiny, 5-foot-2-inch, 105-pound Matt's bedside, holding his hand and telling him he will be all right. That the living left behind will not retreat in fear to the closets.

Sacrificing the safety of that protective sanctuary: courage in extreme. But what price freedom? And why does that price have to be paid at all? Can a gay man be asked to hide from his most recessed truths? How is a black man to wipe the color from his face, his hands?

Irrational rage tied a black man to the bumper of a pickup and a gay man to a fence. Is this rage indicative of culture? Will it become easier for a child to watch a live, televised execution than two people sneaking kisses in a park?

Understanding - and eventually acceptance because the two must go hand in hand - cannot occur when people refuse to acknowledge their own fears and ignorance. The celebration of Coming Out Day was visually represented in this very paper by stereotype, the most outrageous of the diverse gay community.

Matt's death must move this campus from helplessness, hopelessness and APATHY to involvement. But also to expressed outrage.

Right.

These are the words that go unread by most. Why care? What words matter? What words are inspiring enough? Is this society so far beyond itself that it only responds to the most shocking and vulgar?

All right. Imagine the following:

A little Hispanic girl will walk home alone from school in Tucson. When the offer for a ride comes from someone who says he knows the girl's mother, she will accept. Fifteen hours later her dead, raped body will be found, with "whore" scratched across her belly in her own blood.

A vigil tonight at 6 on the west end of the UA Mall will condemn the death of a gay man about whose life UA people knew nothing. Except... some do know. The slurs, or even worse, silences from strangers who slink out of shadows to follow lesbians and gay men walking home alone late at night.

Matt's life and death can be the beginning of the end of apathy and misplaced condemnation. Imagine the end of hatred. Imagine the end of rage.

Congregationists from a Topeka, Kan., church plan an anti-gay demonstration outside his funeral tomorrow. Hallelujah and praise Jesus. Preach the hate. God doesn't love fags.

Christina M. Okeson is a graduate student in journalism and copy chief of the Daily Wildcat. She can be reached via e-mail at Christina.M.Okeson@wildcat.arizona.edu.